It's Friday afternoon and I haven't got much work to do. so what do I end up doing, apart from some Greenpeace cyberactivity, .... ended up on the quizzilla pages again.. this time absurdly looking at which film I should be in...




Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
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bugger! my bike was stolen yesterday!! Very sad as I have had it years and fallen off it loads... it had become like a member of the family, it had it's faults but you accepted that and loved it just the same..... and now it's gone!!! It will probably be taken to pieces... the tyres and hubs were special, nice purple spokes!!!!... the brake system bled all the time but as an early hydraulic system it was excellent... though the quick release led to a couple of permament scars when it came loose and caught between the spokes...ahhhhhh fond (?) memories indeed, Jake coming to rescue me as my head was thoroughly bashed! Falling down some stairs on the day I bought it as I was a little too ambitious .... learning stoppies with Arthur and Lizzie... coming back from Bethnal Green and not being able to find the Rotherhithe tunnel... it had disappeared that night I'm sure!! ahhhhhhhh my bike! Thanks Josh for getting it... one of the best birthday presents ever! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my bike! Goodbye......... my bike

a bit of my past rushed back at me last night!! Sitting in the Mayflower with Sarah and there were people with garish t-shirts, drinking copiuous amounts of beer, wearing trainers and occassionally the word 'hashing' would float across the bar.... We had arrived a bit earlier and were astounded at how full the pub was and the oddly colourful clothing worn by the customers, most of whom seemed American, very American... we sidled away to the bar at the front of the pub, but were admittedly curious... so after a drink and when the other bar had emptied a little we headed back to satisfy the curiosity....after hearing the word Hashing I was reminded of the Hare and Hounds Hash House Harriers that I ran with a few times. This group ran in the Bedfordshire countryside, I had even set one of the routes but had not really got that involved... all got a bit awkward with one of the runners so I stopped going.... but I remember it as an amusing way to spend an evening... the people in the Mayflower, though, were taking the drinking very very seriously indeed! so of course we joined in......they are members of the west london group and run regularly....and why so many Americans?? Apparently it's an international hashing thing going on?? ....Sarah is very keen to join.. I would be apart from the fact that it does involve running! I'm not big on that...    get out of breath very quickly and my face turns lobster pink... not a good look!

Odd week.......went out Monday night initially for an after work drink then headed for the 12 bar club ...saw Paul the Girl do  a very accomplished set.... then wasn't really impressed with the next bloke and can't actually remember his name... he had something to do with Captain Beefheart.... evening then turned a little odd ..... something to do with different memories of a shared event...?
 
Wednesday saw me waiting outside Foyles for Sarah, trouble was she was waiting outside Waterstones....unfortunately I didn't have my phone......we were going to see the new Michael Moore film but ended up not meeting at all!! the positive thing out of it was that I bought a good book...... 'a million little pieces' by James Frey... a compulsive read, one of those books that is difficult to put down , so I have been walking whilst reading, cooking whilst reading, waking up at 4. 00am and picking up the book and continuing.... it is about a man's experience of rehab... but it's a fascinating insight into the world of addiction, compulsive behaviour and human dignity...It was only last night though that I realised it was not fiction..... that shocked me a bit. I mean the bit about the root canals was actually expereinced in reality???!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh sends all sorts of horrible shivers everywhere, in fact it might have been difficult to read that section knowing it was true....
 
Last night met up with Neela in Farringdon, after work... lovely to see you N! and am really looking forward to the Cambridge Folk Festival in a couple of weeks time.. we had an solidly good bit of food in a fish restaurant and drank perhaps slightly too much wine but hey! Compared to James Frey I am a long way from rehab........ the one t-shirt I bought at Glastonbury was a black one with the words 'Rehab is for quitters'........ I liked it because it is soooooo true It so obviously is!
 
weekend is looking promising, Hannah is over tonight and  maybe go to Shoreditch Saturday night

Somtimes, something that has always previously seemed thoroughly impossible can suddenly be presented as possible! It happened yesterday as I was working on a Greenpeace boat, The Esperanza, for an open day. The work was easy, it was a matter of talking to people about Greenpeace and particular campaigns, giving some directions around the boat and generally being helpful. This day, in itself, was wonderful as I had never really imagined I would go on board a Greenpeace boat and here I was working on it and talking to the crew, getting an insider's view... it was splendid!!! But as the day drew to a close and after the debriefing session and beer people started heading off... i too picked up my backpack and was pondering the possibility of which tube to get home when Penny one of the crew said they were having a few more beers up in the lounge and would anyone like to join them... ended up with two other volunteers and some of the crew sitting drinking beer, listening to discussions about being sprayed off the side of trawlers, how to cope if a trawler comes full speed towards you and you are swimming in the sea, being threatened by Italian captains, the sight of storm petrels zipping the tops of waves, dolphins that recognise the rainbow on the side of the boat....magic indeed!!!! and it seems it could all be possible!!!! the dream and listening to others talk could, with a bit of effort, become my reality and my conversation!! I need to be proactive and this is something worth being proactive about!!!!!!!!!

Another sight on my walk to work.... and this made me laugh and is in keeping with the surfer theme of the posts today was a new shop opened up next to Cafe 1001 in the little brewery passage.... the window is full of garishly painted surf boards!!!! a surf shop in Brick Lane!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where more suitable ......so close to the beach!!!??

Odd what we do to our children...... we want them to have better and more fulfilling lives but also if we had an excellent childhood then we like to try to replicate some of this for them..... giving security, opportunity, love, acceptance.... saw an odd sight today that made me ponder..... there must be a little private school tucked away somewhere off Worship Street as I often see very little children dressed in the type of school uniform that was becoming old fashioned when I was at school.... caps and blazers, stripey summer dresses and boaters!!! This morning in front of me was a little boy straight out of Enid Blyton in the 1950's!!! Grey socks,longish baggy navy blue shorts, blazer slightly short on the arms and a cap that barely fitted over his short back and sides. He was walking hand-in-hand with , I presume, his father. This man was wearing dirty jeans, scruffily creased, a loose long sleeved t-shirt, with a tan and the casual air of a classic cool surfer dude.. they just did not match and it seemed odd that an adult so relaxed would dress his child in so regulated a fashion... is he providing something to rebel against.. is that what he looked like aged 5 and he is giving his child all the 'benefits' he had??? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm seems things have got somewhat reversed from when I was at school and it was the parents who looked old and stuffy....

Post-Glasto sleeping sickness is finally over. I feel alive again and wide awake!! Though certainly didn't Friday night as Sarah and I met up for drinks at The Foundry and went on to 93 feet east... sadly all I could do was sit in a comfortable sofa and watch people.... there was a band playing, a film, Jubilee, and I just wasn't up to any of it!!!!

Went to Cambridge Saturday and oddly ended the evening in a gay pub lock in.... drinking shooters and odd stuff........ almost adopted a new son..... had a wonderful time!!!

Always feel somewhat bereft leaving the boys and returning to London though, and that is the mood today, feel it's all very superficial here.........! Need to find a more substantial job....

Sarah is off pole dancing tonight!!!! Has signed up for a course!!!!!

This is my 200th posting!! Which actually, considering I have been writing this since Oct 2002 really doesn't seem that many.......

Heading Shoreditch way tonight for drinks and food....... to celebrate stuff with Sarah.. t'wil be good....... last night ended up having a few after-work drinks as the Godlike one is leaving to go to the US to work for Ralph Lauren....it was all getting a bit raucous when I sidled away mid evening... am I becoming a lightweight??? or is it post-Glasto sleeping sickness???

Still can't work out how I feel about coming back to London.. it is odd when you go away and eventually you look forward to getting 'home'.... but coming back to London just didn't feel like coming 'home' it feels like an extension of being away??? Where is home, what is this thing that gives a sense of belonging?? Is it familiarity within the environment... an increasing recognition of places the closer you get to home.. or the initmate knowledge of a place? knowing all its alley-ways and back streets, of shortcuts and splendid vista's... or is it more a feeling? a place you feel safe? a place you feel warm? Still have to find my home I guess.... then I might know the answers???????

Realise that recently I have just written bare details and missed so much out from before Glastonbury.. didn't mention going to Goldsmiths to see the degree exhibition .... amazed that painting seems to be making a bit of a comeback and the textile work was probably the most fascinating area .....have been exploring more and discovered the London Stone in Canon Street which actually felt a bit like seeing Avebury or Stonehenge... something from such a distant past that its mere survival seems remarkable... it is behind glass for protection... which is sensible as I would have touched it had it been possible and as it is porous rock it would have been worn away over the years from everyone else doing the same.... now why is there the need to reach out????..... hmmmmmm

Where to start!!?? A magical weekend indeed! Mud and magic with sunshine thrown in as well!! Back at work today and desperately looking for a different job.... there was a moment on Sunday night when I was sitting in a group of lovely people, we had worked together on the wall and then wandered off to listen to good music, returned to The Greenpeace campfire to drink wine and cider... it was a lovely atmosphere late at night when someone asked what I did.. I replied 'I am a PA for a fashion company in central London'..... my reply seemed to me to be so incongruous that I totally realised how unsuitable it is for me to be doing it at all!!!! The work on the climbing wall wasn't like work at all, yes it was physically tiring but it was so enjoyable that that didn't matter... It became quite frustrating when it rained as we had to stop work as I wanted to continue!!!!

will write more later suffice to say I am still aglow with it all !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very glasto-centred!! which is difficult at work as it has been utterly hectic -one of the major fashion shows, Pitti Uomo, starts this week in Florence so all the collection has to be ready or should I say had to be ready for 3.30 today... boss and a couple of minions have now gone... hopefully I have done the travel arrangements ok... generally I never hear how smoothly it all goes so I just have to presume everything went all right... I would certainly hear about it if I have booked the wrong flight!!! or Hotel!!! My travel arrangements have been completely traumatic!! Thought I was getting a lift from web designer W but he crashed his car!! hmmmmmmm not a good sign!! so I thought I would get a bus... all buses are now booked..... left getting a train as a final option and god what a struggle that was to get a ticket!!!! but tomorrow I leave from Paddington with a ton of warm and waterproof stuff!! Slightly apprehensive in that I'm doing a festival alone.... but working it should be quite a different experience...... and I do get lots of time off.... and free food!!! ahhhhhhh must buy a disposable camera anyway this is just ramblings.... nothing to say much today... still feel ill... but also excited... looking forward to just being there, sitting by my tent and watching people, not even that bothered about seeing any bands at all..... being a bit wistful....

I'm really going!!!!!!!!! Got my ticket last night!!!!!!!!!!!! Now have to buy stuff like waterproofing spray, an extra groundsheet, waterproof trousers and maybe a petzl. I have always wanted a petzl but never justified the expense as I have always owned a torch, well its something one does really........ but now seeing as I have minimum possessions here in London and a torch is not one of them I can finally, after 20 years, justify the purchase of a petzl!!!!!!!!!!

It must be hot!! wearing a skirt!!!! quite funny really the difference it makes... I feel almost girly!!! though obviously not wearing accompanying heels!!!!

8 days!!!! and I'll be there.... might even have got a lift which would make an incredible difference!!! could then take my trangia and a few extra items of clothing........ getting really excited and quite bouyant at the thought! will see if I can get a new tent too...of course while I'm there will have to see if I can find an internet site and give a few updates.... might be one way of remembering all that happens... feel the need to write a list!!!

8 days!!!

even have the pleasure of bob prior to Glastonbury....!!!

and the sun is shining !!!

and I wrote a supporting statement for my Masters application yesterday so tonight I fill in the form and see what happens!!!!

8 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rode my bicycle to work this morning in the rain singing 'Bittersweet bundle of misery' very happily!!! The Graham Coxon gig on Tuesday at the Electric Ballroom was very enjoyable indeed!!!! Got to Camden about 8, well wouldn't want to queue!!! and headed first for the bar and then squeezed into what at first appeared a tiny room. Realised that people were crowding around the entrance and it was actually quite easy to wend a beery way more or less to the front. First band that were on I must admit I didn't catch their name and well didn't really try to find out..... young, brash, polished and loud... Then there was a bit of a wait for Graham, in fact he nearly pushed the boundaries of welcome a little too far....and some were becoming slightly impatient! But he made a blinding start when he finally arrived on stage, dressed in what looked like a pair of slacks????? Quite a few numbers were from previous albums but he did all the favourites from the new Happiness in Magazines too... a bit odd to hear The Bottom Bunk really as it is about having a wank and there he was singing about it to hundreds of people... a little odd as he seems such a shy, even bashful, chap when talking between songs.... in fact he has the voice of a timid 6 year old until he starts singing! The odd thing about the gig though was the static nature of the audience... directly in front of us were the tiniest Japanese girls imaginable, maybe a hangover from pre-solo days?? anyway they just stood still not even a little swaying movement, not a tapping of toes just nothing going on!! The music though called for more!!! Sarah and I both started jumping around and very soon others behind joined in and well it almost became a bit of a moshpit thing which is what the music deserved!!! A very very good gig and I forgot all about my earlier comparison with Billy Childish as Graham certainly became his own man!!!!! and I'm still singing along with him now!!!

Jake and Angel made a surprise visit at the weekend which was lovely though had to change a few plans and missed a gig... but dragged them along to see Billy Childish at the Barbican as after hearing so much about him he could not be missed!!! and he was all and more!! a good name to have on the inside of your tent indeed!!!! definitely unforgetable......... he did one number called 'The Bitter Cup' that left not tingles but pure electricity running around the spine!!!!!

Had to make a surpise visit to Cambridge yesterday...... lovely moment when leaving where both boys were waving farewell and Josh ran alongside the train as it departed right to the end of the platform...... had the whole carriage laughing!!!

a tough week! Probably why I haven't written much.... just a whole pile of stuff cracking up around me, a bit like being at a Vines gig... you get there all excited looking forward to what you thought was a good band and end up disappointed....so it's all gone a bit flat.... I remember writing ages ago, whilst still in Cambridge about times when the grey blanket hits and whichever way you look at the world it's grey... well its a bit like that.... the grey blanket is back, over my head and colouring the world.......

so my answer last weekend was to go out and get slaughtered... or even on monday to stay in and do the same..... actually enjoyed last weekend.... went to the Barbican to see some free blues ... first up was son of dave a Canadian previously in Crash Test Dummies.... he was a one man play all type and very good at it too!!! Met him afterwards and he was one of those performers that comes across in person as incredibly shy, yet on stage is twice the size..... final band of the afternoon was Errol Linton's Blues Vibe ........by then I was partygurl!!!! wandered up to The Foundry... sat outside admiring the Banksy.... and trundled willingly to Cargo where we sauntered past the queue and were admitted.... thanks to Joe who was on the guestlist.... Errol was playing again...... by this time I was beyond partygurl.... at some point discovered I had to leave, auto pilot kicking in mayhaps??? but ended up going for the ubiquitous Indian of which I ate very very little. called for a cab, something I still find deliciously decadent, and found myself at homeand happy!!! Soooooo that was Saturday.... sunday was quiet!!! but had a gig to go to in the evening. Ash were very very good.... and after The Vines a relief!!!! Very bouncy, very loud...

Monday just doesn't count,talked drank wine, cooked drank wine, talked drank wine, talked drank vodka, only amazed that the absinthe remained untouched... struggled with Tuesday... work dire... finances crashing around me... don't know where to turn... Josh not working again...and now it's the weekend... going to a gig at The Barbican.......

couldn't resist this one!

You're GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip!! You're
strong, tough, and know how to kick some ass.
Don't forget though, no matter how manly you
think you are, you're still just a doll. God
Bless America.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
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hmmmmmmmmmmm much has happened, much has not...... gigs this weekend were all very good indeed.. will write more later.....