how can the word 'migration' just disappear from my vocabulary? only to reappear as it has done hours later unconnected, unsought... just there in my thoughts as I try to concentrate on reading a lovely little book called 'findings' by Kathleen Jamie

earlier today i was excitedly contemplating the possibility of a few days on scilly! A set of islands i haven't visited for nearly 30 years but I am certain they remain as beautiful in that clear, light, blue way that they have retained in my memory.... and i was saying that maybe october might be full of bird watchers as... and there i became stuck.... i struggled for a word... lost it and described how birds head south at this time of year because it becomes too cold... and so the islands might be full of birders hopeful to spot certain species...

it sounded convoluted and a clumsy way of talking as i could sense the loss but was unable to grasp at the word .... migration or migratory or even migrate... these words had gone

and now they have all returned

and i wonder at the loss and gain

and worry

a little