well it's now the summer of 2016 and Oh G what a mixed up mess of a time it is!
I am now living in a run down house in a run down town on the forgotten northern tip end of Cambridgeshire. it's fenny and there is a constant pungent odour around; be it of the pet food factory, of the chip factory or of that tight noxious nip at the roof of the mouth when they spray chemicals over the fields all around.
I have just returned from a brief sojourn into the town centre, rubbish strewn and replete with charity shops and 'international stores' and as I walked passed the library I saw a sign on a poster in the window that claimed "How to stop yourself from drowning" yes that is what i need I thought to myself I am drowning in apathy and ennui. I have lost physical strength and emotional strength.. I am depleted and yes i feel I am drowning. I then read the following sentence.... "one way is to ensure you do not swim when you are too tired.... the poster hadn't been a metaphor!!! There was no course i could take for my depleted sense of self-worth!!! I need really need to stop drowning I laughed to myself and then I thought I would see if this blog still works and maybe" I could chart my rise from the depths of fug and chart a course back to land.
So that is the new project, a self rescue.
Cambs has been hard hard work, although well yes admittedly there have been one or two adventures along the way but I now realise I once again need a repository for my internal chatter... a place I can chatter away
and maybe in doing just that I might be able to stop myself from drowning
Tuesday, July 26, 2016
well it's now the summer of 2016 and Oh G what a mixed up mess of a time it is!
I am now living in a run down house in a run down town on the forgotten northern tip end of Cambridgeshire. it's fenny and there is a constant pungent odour around; be it of the pet food factory, of the chip factory or of that tight noxious nip at the roof of the mouth when they spray chemicals over the fields all around.
I have just returned from a brief sojourn into the town centre, rubbish strewn and replete with charity shops and 'international stores' and as I walked passed the library I saw a sign on a poster in the window that claimed "How to stop yourself from drowning" yes that is what i need I thought to myself I am drowning in apathy and ennui. I have lost physical strength and emotional strength.. I am depleted and yes i feel I am drowning. I then read the following sentence.... "one way is to ensure you do not swim when you are too tired.... the poster hadn't been a metaphor!!! There was no course i could take for my depleted sense of self-worth!!! I need really need to stop drowning I laughed to myself and then I thought I would see if this blog still works and maybe" I could chart my rise from the depths of fug and chart a course back to land.
So that is the new project, a self rescue.
Cambs has been hard hard work, although well yes admittedly there have been one or two adventures along the way but I now realise I once again need a repository for my internal chatter... a place I can chatter away
and maybe in doing just that I might be able to stop myself from drowning
I am now living in a run down house in a run down town on the forgotten northern tip end of Cambridgeshire. it's fenny and there is a constant pungent odour around; be it of the pet food factory, of the chip factory or of that tight noxious nip at the roof of the mouth when they spray chemicals over the fields all around.
I have just returned from a brief sojourn into the town centre, rubbish strewn and replete with charity shops and 'international stores' and as I walked passed the library I saw a sign on a poster in the window that claimed "How to stop yourself from drowning" yes that is what i need I thought to myself I am drowning in apathy and ennui. I have lost physical strength and emotional strength.. I am depleted and yes i feel I am drowning. I then read the following sentence.... "one way is to ensure you do not swim when you are too tired.... the poster hadn't been a metaphor!!! There was no course i could take for my depleted sense of self-worth!!! I need really need to stop drowning I laughed to myself and then I thought I would see if this blog still works and maybe" I could chart my rise from the depths of fug and chart a course back to land.
So that is the new project, a self rescue.
Cambs has been hard hard work, although well yes admittedly there have been one or two adventures along the way but I now realise I once again need a repository for my internal chatter... a place I can chatter away
and maybe in doing just that I might be able to stop myself from drowning
rediscovered Delilah's Palaver... and what a place to stop! the paragraph below was written 2 and a half yrs ago and never published and it's too long ago to remember the memory that i mentioned.... so I will publish this today and get back on that horse and see if I can still ride
sitting here at my desk in cornwall with my sons preapring to leave the county and return home I felt compelled to listen to Leonard Cohen's Coming home... it's been my earworm for days now and listening to it just hasn't helped. I simply want to listen again and again
will probably drive J&J mad ... had a lovely moment last night going to sleep... because this is a small flat now full of packing cases they were camped out in the lounge and my room next door had the door blocked open... so i heard them chattering away in the background as i fell asleep.. i swear i actually fell asleep giggling to their inane prattle
but reason for post is that a glimmer of a past memory returned... and it was
sitting here at my desk in cornwall with my sons preapring to leave the county and return home I felt compelled to listen to Leonard Cohen's Coming home... it's been my earworm for days now and listening to it just hasn't helped. I simply want to listen again and again
will probably drive J&J mad ... had a lovely moment last night going to sleep... because this is a small flat now full of packing cases they were camped out in the lounge and my room next door had the door blocked open... so i heard them chattering away in the background as i fell asleep.. i swear i actually fell asleep giggling to their inane prattle
but reason for post is that a glimmer of a past memory returned... and it was
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