Saturday, May 03, 2008

feeling unsettled.... with itchy feet.. like it's time to do..... what? something is stirring in the bones and I cant put my finger on just what it is... generally life is going ok.... it is pressured and living in the small post grad mostly female community is a bit like the boiling house of a girls boarding school.... and yes I have my enemies!!! (though find it weird but there's one or maybe even two that send daggerish looks and I seem completely unable to have a civil conversation with them... ie one had sent by email a paper for a group, the ethnography reading group, to read.... it had one of my old favourite inuit stories of the skeleton woman analysed within it's pages... so I went up to her and said.. oh I loved seeing the skeleton woman again... she looked at me aghast and said 'look I do eat, I have a voracious appetite and I'm getting fed up with remarks about my skinniness'...... it took a couple of sentences about inuit fairytales to make her realise I wasn't being bitchy.... and frankly I am a bit fed up with it... there's another an american, who is also applying for a phd so we are in direct competition... and she seems to misunderstand everything I say to her to the point I have given up.... and actually I feel better for getting that out of my system here... if I'd had a moan to fellow masters students then I just seem to come across as moany...maybe I am... what I find weird though is having to deal with this.... other than that- I have had an offer of a place, now I just have to get funding... so I will be here for another 3 years at least....

I am writing my dissertation on walking to glastonbury festival and the lovely thing is we are all going.... J& J and both partners and some of J's friends too...and s from uni and maybe others too..... you'd have thought I would be looking forward to it, and I thought I was looking forward to it but the other night I awoke from a terrifying dream, a dream where I was walking along a pleasant hillside path.... it became fenced off and then barb wire entangled it to the point where I had to turn back, but I saw another path lower down the hillside, headed back to a stile that led to this path and as as I was climbing the stile a massive pack of snarling wild dogs came running up, it's leader the size of an irish wolfhound and sporting a massive lions mane!!!!! I woke terrified!