faced the demons and did my talk yesterday... and actually enjoyed it, found I had lots to say, could answer questions and, even if I say so myself, it went well... spent yesterday evening on cloud nine and think I'm still there..... all is good with the world (in the academic sense anyway) now feeling so positive about stuff that I'm ready to write a phd proposal!!!

a strange thing is happening to my 50 years of very healthy body.. my liver is complaining!!! hmmmm this is not good tho' perhaps not surprising... and so it's a month of detox for the liver!!! Started this morning with some alarmingly coloured dandelion tea... yes it looked like pee!!!! and no alcohol for a month!!! shouldn't be a problem I thought and then realised it is 'Fair Trade week' and a friend at uni is doing her phd on fair trade wine and yes you've guessed it, today she's doing a tasting session.... my first challenge will be not to listen to the little voice in my head that will politely but smoothly suggest that as it's simply a 'tasting' it's not really 'drinking'.... maybe I'll go to the soporific data analysis lecture instead just to avoid 'the voice'..

it's getting rather intense!! am trying to read a paper but my head is off all over the place.... yesterday one of our group (the youngest a 21 yr old who has just finished her degree) presented a paper ... the module is entitled 'contemporary debates in human geography' and this term each masters student has to select a paper and present it to the rest of the group... K was the first to do this and its me next week... she is meticulous in her work and she arrived yesterday with handouts and a 9 page script!!!! and my god did she know her stuff!!! I am in awe and now consequently in a tearful, depressed state as I know that I have to follow perfection... she was able not only to handle the discussion afterwards but she so obviously knew, on a deep and meaningful level, what she was talking about.... and I feel so fluffy!!!!!!!!! my understanding is barely scratching the surface, and I tend towards flippancy when put on the spot! Next week is going to be terrifying... already I am terrified... my choice of paper... is probably bonkers... but the problem is I dont even know.... oh god oh god oh god.....

It's monday, it's february, it's cold....

yesterday I learnt how to deal with getting arrested, how to conduct a 'no comment' interview and how to go all floppy when police people try to move me... very effective indeed!!! and no its not part of my masters in human geography but another course entirely.... and slightly secretive!!!

and last week I bought a very small mountain bike, I need a very small one because I have very small legs... but as soon as I started riding it I became exhausted... had totally not taken the actual size of the hills around here into account!!! my legs/body/lungs just weren't up to it!!!!

other catch up news.... still doing the going out drinking copious amounts of wine and saying stupid things to lecturers... ended up arm wrestling one of them last week in a club... now what was that about I wonder????... it's as if I have this other life, a secret life that even I do not know about, just have vague and dodgy memories that sometimes seep into consciousness???? hmmmm no not good for the brain cells at all and at my age I should be preserving them!!!!!

that's it really, lots of reading... nt sure what I will do my dissertation on... maybe the journey to glasto, maybe magical realism and cyborgs.... maybe something more politcal.... the auto-ethnography of an eco warrior!!!!

my computer seems to dislike the letter 'o' so I apologise if any are missing

bloody hell... it's been ages.. and this is a mere note of a post! the sun is shining and I'm heading off to the north coast again... W has bought a house in Barnstaple and so I'm heading over to say hello!!

getting essays back with marks and comments! and it's not too bad.... and getting better... the first essay that I knew was crap got a crap mark, yesterday an essay I thought was better got a better mark.... so it all makes sense!!!