Every morning I travel through Jesus Green



in Cambridge and there's a flock(?) of gulls idling around, picking worms, squwarking a bit, generally just milling about. Over the last couple of weeks these birds have changed from their winter plumage to their summer one! At first I noticed just one black head amongst them, then a couple, and this week it's all of them!! Does this mean it's now summer and I can't for the life of me think what the advantage is of having a black head in the summer and a white one in the winter... camoflage????? Sadly today though the flock were huddled together, facing the wind, hunkered down to avoid the rain!!!

Hawaii is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh I am a happy woman xx

ha ha !!! so I made some phone calls, told people what was required and.... I'm still waiting! The original mortgage company deny that the new solicitors requested the deeds, the new solicitors insist they did... so who pays for this?? me.. I have longer to wait, another month's astronomical mortgage to pay and still an unknown completion date gets further and further in to the distance...

on a more positve note I bought a bicycle... and I love it!!! enjoying zipping along! and tonight I buy a beat up old Rover which will last hopefully at least a couple of months... so now I'm all ready to gooooooo! .......... but where???? Think it is time to make decisions, hand in my notice, do up my flat on a full time basis rather than hoping for a burst of energy at the weekends (which just isn't happening) and book at least a couple of weeks holiday somewhere warm....and then spend the summer in my little caravan in Mepal....

really looking forwad to the Isle of Wight festival as the line up includes Lou Reed.. saw him a couple of times in the 70's and he is quite a mesmerising performer...have been looking at pictures of last years festival and it looks sooooo small.. there is just the one main stage... which is great as there wont be that rushing around trying to catch acts thing that is Glastonbury... we'll be able to find a spot, spread the blankets and sit.... cool indeed... the webpage also requests that deckchairs are not taken... wouldn't that be lovely if that is taken seriously! If no-one has them then it all becomes less territoial and a lot easier to see the bands when sitting! God I am really looking forward to it already!!! Have booked the ferry and going a day early, might be able to get a day on the beach in as well!!!!

Got to get to grips with this!! Instead of sitting waiting must do! have phone calls to make people to talk to to make it happen... no sitting trembling, waiting....

It's all happening and it's not happening... a weird little waiting time.... and I'm sitting in a public library with streaming cold ....there's snow outside....

waiting for some sort of decision about what is happening in Mexico/San Fransisco? still no flights booked, no decision made, no idea what is happening

remortgage is supposedly happening but I'm in limbo at the moment, scared to imagine it really will happen, terrified it wont... it will be like my last 10 christmases all come at once if it does... have soooooo much i now feel the need to buy and it's not little stuff! have been looking at digital camera's... very excited by the Olympus SP 350!!!! ipods are jumping out at me from everywhere and I saw a cute little mountain bike (a little Giant, no less!) yesterday that looks perfect!! Dare not breath in case none of this actually happens... feel like I'm about 5 and trying to be good in case Father Christmas is real and true and he really will bring me all I want/need/desire but only if I am good and I'm not sure I know how to be!!!

Got Graham Coxon's new CD last night... love it already... and the interview!!!! He still is so that 6 year old, who's a bit embarrassed by it all, but it's almost like he's accepted who he is now and ummmmm almost happy with it?? Anyway great CD! the music has that raw edge of something new and exciting and am looking forward to seeing him live on the 30th.

had a go at the Guardian netjetters competition yesterday... interesting as it is looking for two new people for 2006 who fit into either a green category or a grey one.. I feel I am perfect for both! which probably meant my entry has fallen in the gap between them both!

Amazing weekend!

Went into town after work on friday and met up with S & R in Villandry where we had beer and good conversation.. headed into camden to the Barfly to see the morning after girls. Nice to be back in a crowded venue spilling my beer when squeezing my way to the front, I'm too short to see anything unless I'm in the front row, but my beer doesn't often survive the trip... musically the band were fine, very velvets, but hey I like the velvets! they didn't quite have ummmmmm that 'it' factor.... can see them doing alright but there was no real spark... not for me anyway... just enjoyed the atmosphere

on saturday headed to Olympia to the One Life exhibition... wasn't sure what to expect but Mahesh, Rohan and Anna had been heroes... our stall was the complete low key, low level, eco-stall... it truely reflected the ideas and aims of Down 2 Earth, Carla would have been proud to see it... there were 'competitors' there with big glossy stands, highly laminated and very very corporate looking... the d2e stall was cosy, with floor cushions, a little field (grass begged from the Innocent smoothie stall) and miniture tepee's and ivy strewn around... really sweet! Our leaflets were printed on home computers and on recycled paper and the approach found it's own individual niche... which was appreciated by many... I was utterly blown over by the number of people who are willing to give their time, effort and money into conservation projects like those that Carla has set in motion... all quite inspiring really and empowering

so I am going to Mexico... feel confident that we will get the appropriate numbers of volunteers... all very very very very exciting indeed!

Met some fascinating people too, from Francis Firebrace to a kitesurfer from the Dominican Republic to Sondra a french dancer with her son Attica... it was all a bit of a mini festival without the music, although Rohan, who makes Tepees and yurts had brought a selection of Irish whistles and flutes along.... a group of us headed off after packing up on the sunday evening to a Persian restaurant to share dips and wine... by that time we had been joined by Mahesh's friend who had just been to the Big Brother audition and had been asked to return for a further audition on Wednesday.. if a blond palm reader ends up in the house let me know!


a great weekend indeed!!

all up in the air!! god knows where I'm going or when, though Mexico looks less likely and California seems to be the most likely ???? So this company (D2E)is having ummmm teething problems to say the least... I have remortgaged my flat, a move i wouldn't ever have got round to if Mexico hadn't been a possibility... and so now it looks like Mexico is off and I want to go somewhere!!! it looks more like I'm going away for a holiday than work and I might be able now to afford a month away???

Options are; fly to San Fransisco meet up with C and go with her to Hawaii, back to San F and then home... this seems a cheaper option than flying straight to Hawaii and back again (£200 less!!!??) or a two week surfing holiday with Will in Morrocco, which maybe I can combine with a visit to my sister in Malta... and Mexico?? god knows... it all went wrong a couple of weeks ago with a personality clash or two between the chappie who owns the land in Mexico and people runnig D2E, then this clash spread between people within D2E... and I have just had to stand back and watch the proceedings, thank god I didn't book my flight to San Luis Potosi in Mexico and as my attempts at learning Spanish sort of ended with 'I do not eat my donkey' I don't need to worry about learning any more inconsequential chatter...

and last friday I had stitches removed from my finger and then spent the next 24 hours terrified that it was all going to open up again... finger still swollen and pretty useless...told not to put any pressure on it for at least 6 weeks!! and at the moment there is no way I'm putting pressure on it as it hurts too much! So maybe it's a good job I'm not climbing trees in 2 weeks time?? Though still reckon I could manage it... but sadly rocks and crags are completely out of the question!

Had an interesting week at Mepal! Went there to climb and do some field archery as well as work there with a group for the week. So I arrived in a ball of smoke as my car had broken down and died and then still on the same day managed to so badly injure my hand that I needed stitches! So wasn't able to climb a thing or shoot one arrow!!!! But still loved the place and the job and am really looking forward to being back there later on this year....

anyone else aiming to go to the Isle of Wight Festival?? Will buy tickets as soon as possible, hopefully will have the money before they sell out!

C has sent some advertising leaflets for Down2earth International the company that I will be working for in Mexico

weekend was interesting! Greenpeace action was fun if a little cold and people were really keen to get involved which was excellent... but sometimes I'm just not too good at getting involved my self..... felt a little aloof, disassociated, apart... its odd when a group dynamic changes.. C has left already for the States and heading to Mexico soon.. R & D just dont turn up for group events any more and so new people have sort of joined in and the dynamic changes, it's different....and I somehow didn't feel part of the change... feeling quite solitary at the moment... happy to be at home in my flat on my own...don't need other company, don't particularly want it, maybe just haven't quite come out of winter's hibernation yet!! so the social whirl can wait a bit ....

excellent article in yesterday's Guardian by Rob Newman... he states that capitalism and sorting out the environment just wont work together... an idea I have propounded a number of times whilst imbibing alcohol late into the night... but he puts it so much better than I could... to put it simply he says that capitalism is all about increasing profits and ever-expanding markets and in a finite world this just isn't possible ... there will come a time, and it's just about there when we will have to adjust our lifestyles to live within boundaries... that carbon neutral behaviour is not some fanciful ideal but a necessity... and what did I buy yesterday whilst ambling around Sainsbury's... strawberries and raspberries! In February!!!!! hmmmm I think I have to re-think... maybe the theme of 2006 is to live within my limits... I have made vast in-roads to sort out my finances with the view of actually paying bills and living within my means... and now I need to look at my impact on the world... can I justify the flight to mexico by the fact I will be working on a project to protect an ancient rainforest??...yes think I can... but will have to look at sources for doing up my flat and make sure it is all kosher! anyway an excellent article!!

Interesting article on The BBC news webpages about some research that shows that the human skull has changed quite significantly and quite remarkably obver the last 500 years.... and if you wander around Cambridge you can see loads upon loads of examples of the 'new headshape'.... you know how the stereotypical image of a scientist always possesses an enormously domed forehead...you know the one... ok this is known as the 'cranial vault height' which is the distance between the eyes and the top of the head.... this height has increased somewhere in the order of 20% since Medieval times... and the researcher suggests the increase in size may be due to an increase in mental capacity over the ages.... and one can only therefore deduce after that, that the cartoon image of the scientist with the large forehead is based on scientific fact....

A month without alcohol!! lighter mornings, snowdrops... it must be the moment before spring and I am feeling reawakened! Alive, sprightly and in need of entertainment!! I need to get out!!! and to modify my use of exclamation marks perhaps!!! it is a sign of exhuberance!!!!! Anything happening anywhere? Is there a social life just around the corner with a space for me to fit in it???

ummmmm Hannah????????? how was New York? and WHERE'S MY EMAIL?????? Sorry to shout!! Hope you are having fun, big hugs to both you and Simon xx

There’s nothing to worry about for all tomorrow’s children you know…. For generations hence there will be no more bad behaviour, no tantrums, no bad eating habits, no rudeness, nor lack of respect for elders, hoodies will be worn safely and happily by all and fear of the hoodie generation will be in the historical past…. And why am I so sure of this, well it’s because we now have two saviours, two people who, if they became a team would be world beaters…. The answer is simple…

Jamie Oliver and Supernanny!! It is so simple…. They can sort out the nations transgressors… supernanny can sort out the behaviour and Jamie can feed everyone properly… then children will love vegetables, their parents and the world and so will become more naturally eco-friendly in the process and in so doing will be awake and aware enough to act on global issues of environmental concern…

and yes went to see Brokeback Mountain on friday..... incredible film! Amazing for its understatedness! It has floated around in my thoughts and the utter poignancy and beauty of the tale it told has settled within my head like the softest silkiest handkerchief. I keep remembering moments, an image, a sentence, a look... god it was a beautiful film!

Jake saw it and his comments were... 'they could have done more with the cinematography and pulled a little more at the heart strings!' I was crying in the cinema, if they had pulled more I would have been audibly sobbing... the mountains were stunning but yes I see what he means but for me the understated beauty of their surroundings was all part of what made it such a memorable film... definitely recommend it to all

Walking in to work gives a moment of time for thoughts… it’s quite a lovely little space in the day when I trot along pondering the ineffable… a time for solitude and peace… and so the brain wanders, meanders the finer points of life… comes up with solutions to anything from kitchen design to why I wanted to be an anthropologist when I was a child…. Went for a job interview yesterday and was asked this question and then had to say why, found myself describing an old Australian atlas that my parents had which was fascinating, it had, in the middle pages, old sepia images of ‘peoples of the world’… photographs of family groupings, of stern Norwegians in patterned woollen clothing, of pygmy men standing proud!, of a Chinese family with the father with pigtail and odd platform sandals/shoes… different worlds, different lives….

Oh yes the job interview was for part time work at Rohan… need more money so have to work more!

Another pondering meandering thought was about accents and dialects… maybe it’s something to do with walking through the centre of Cambridge so often and all I hear are fascinating accents, numerous languages and odd dialects… ok so how come people from all over, initially mostly, Europe, all speaking different languages, having different accents arrive in a vast new continent, settle in regions right across the continent covering vastly differing geographical areas and then other diverse groups from Asia and Africa also arrive and settle, including of course indigenous peoples that have their own languages… and out of all this an accent develops that is distinct and easily recognisable, with even local dialects and variations?? How come they all speak American? Or Australian, the same thing happened there and both continents now have a distinct accent? How or why did this happen?

March looks like it might be an interesting month! Something has been set in motion, you know that feeling... it's almost as if something bigger has taken over and it's rolling, rolling along with a life of it's own. Tonight I go to a travel clinic to see what jabs I need for Mexico, I have been proactive in sorting out my finances and it all looks possible, I have checked with my parents about storing stuff in their loft, I have told Mepal that I'm away for two months and will start in May... it is all happening!!! I am going to Mexico in March. Renting out the flat looks likely to be the most stressful thing though, too many variables and negative possiblilities... do you know anyone that wants to rent out a flat in Cambridge for 6 months?? Someone, quiet, tidy and appreciative!!!

so jumping on that rolling ball with a big smile on my face I will be heading off to .... the unknown

Have been doing lots of reading in this new job! A very nice way to spend one's time indeed and have come across a few interesting things.... generally have to find things that relate to the university but it is sooo difficult to restrict my reading and not wander off on little tangents all the time.... catching up a bit on maybe what, to you, is old news but I haven't read news stories in such detail for ages... so now with all the bird flu stuff happening came across an old news report about Donald Rumsfeld being Chairman of the company that makes Tamiflu, the one vaccine that is recommended globally for this possible pandemic. He has already made millions and is set to make many many more... link that to the story which relates the possibility of replacing the world's global stock of chickens, in all it's diversity, with a monoculture of GM chickens which could be possible within 4 to 5 years! Frightening possibilities indeed, I feel we are turning that corner into a new world!!!! and it is a bit dark and a bit scary!!!!


Mexico looks more and more possible!!! Have now found myself reading up on what innoculations are required and have purchased a 'Teach yourself Spanish in 6 weeks' booklet and CD .... so far I can talk about a black donkey and a fast river! Hopefully my vocabulary will become more extensive!

just a very quick posting as I realise I haven't posted anything this year!! New job is good, walk to work nice in the mornings, so feel loads healthier just for that reason alone... and away from 'Misery' too so life is smiling at me! This job will probably last until Mar/Apr. Mepal starts again in April which gives rather a natural gap between times... maybe Mexico??

New years' Eve found me meeting up with 'old' friends Hannah and Simon, which was utterly lovely.... JJ&H came along with me to the Slug and Lettuce and we had a drink or two there but it didn't really suit. H&S felt like dancing and not been the most keen dancer in the world I felt happier trundling to The King St Run with JJ & H, It does have a good juke box so was quite content.... oddly we had a game of pool when we arrived as upstairs was empty... then at 12 headed towards people gathered at the bar... it was heaving and warm and I was gin-filled and happy.... the actual New Year was a little confused as they had a clock and a silent TV at different ends of the room and the room was split into two depending on what you were watching, one cheer went up but the other side of the bar were still concentrating on the 'time' so it sort of got missed somehow???? Got chatted up by assorted rogues but wandered back with Hayley, J& J got waylaid somewhere on route???? So that was it, another new year....

but all that seems such a long time ago! Now back to work........ cutting and pasting in the old traditional way!! Fingers getting all sticky and black!!!!