It's all happening and it's not happening... a weird little waiting time.... and I'm sitting in a public library with streaming cold ....there's snow outside....

waiting for some sort of decision about what is happening in Mexico/San Fransisco? still no flights booked, no decision made, no idea what is happening

remortgage is supposedly happening but I'm in limbo at the moment, scared to imagine it really will happen, terrified it wont... it will be like my last 10 christmases all come at once if it does... have soooooo much i now feel the need to buy and it's not little stuff! have been looking at digital camera's... very excited by the Olympus SP 350!!!! ipods are jumping out at me from everywhere and I saw a cute little mountain bike (a little Giant, no less!) yesterday that looks perfect!! Dare not breath in case none of this actually happens... feel like I'm about 5 and trying to be good in case Father Christmas is real and true and he really will bring me all I want/need/desire but only if I am good and I'm not sure I know how to be!!!

Got Graham Coxon's new CD last night... love it already... and the interview!!!! He still is so that 6 year old, who's a bit embarrassed by it all, but it's almost like he's accepted who he is now and ummmmm almost happy with it?? Anyway great CD! the music has that raw edge of something new and exciting and am looking forward to seeing him live on the 30th.

had a go at the Guardian netjetters competition yesterday... interesting as it is looking for two new people for 2006 who fit into either a green category or a grey one.. I feel I am perfect for both! which probably meant my entry has fallen in the gap between them both!