it's my last day here at Mepal.... odd in that I found a job I love and I am leaving it early in the season??????????? trouble is I can see myself getting less and less enthusiastic.... it's the repetetive nature of the role really.... I feel in need of some sort of progression and however good an instuctor I am that's it.... and I want to change things, to try out my own ideas and see if other systems are better... this place is on the way out anyway... either there is a massive input very soon to update everything and move it forward, i.e. make it a caving and climbing centre with new walls, new activities...if not it is going under and I don't really want to watch that....

Went to see A Scanner Darkly last weekend... eminently watchable film, Linklater has filmed so many different films... from A school of Rock(sucky) to Before Sunset/ Before Sunrise (excellent) to Waking Life (utterly mesmerising)... that I was keen to see how this one would work out as it was using the same animating techniques of Waking life.... it worked really well, mostly, Robert Downey jr was fascinatingly brilliant (what were those pink shoes about???) and Woody Harrelson very funny (loved the mountain bike scene) although the animation neither added to their parts nor took anything away. With Keannu it was slightly different as he has always been rather woooden in his performances and somehow?? that woodenness translated into the animation?? god knows how but Keannu animated was still indescribably 2d??? maybe he is an animation in real life??? mmmm maybe it's time for me to go to bed...!

Love the weather at the moment! Spent the morning yesterday with four 11 year olds snorkeling! Actually had two solid hours in the water without getting cold, although my lips did turn blue! The lake here has miraculously clear water as the ground is mainly sand and gravel so the water is continuously filtered. It means that you can actually see whatever is swimming around... and we have some enormous carp, a shoal of about 20 rudd, a couple of pike and loads of smaller perch...and they are happy for us to swim with them... in the afternoon a large group didn't turn up and as it was so nice we simply played in the lake all afternoon. Paddled a surfski thing around most of the time, it's a large flattish floaty thing that is perfect for floating on the lake slowly pootling around, lying in the sun..... aaahhhhh!

This morning up really early and glanced out of my window to see a few rabbits hopping about, accompanied by a greenwoodpecker also hopping around with them, usually see them in the air, was odd to see it so close up.... my reactions are just not too good,I should have got my camera out!

I am a woman in love. and I am happy!

No it's not another 'dancing partner' think I've given up there......... the object of my happiness is quite simply my new ipod!



I bought it in hawaii and have been ploddingly downloading all my music on to it's itunes since and adding gradually to it's memory over the last few weeks....

and now it travels everywhere with me and the shuffle selection brings me surprises all the time. Aamzing how I just don't know my own music! and now I am adding to it by making up some playlists.. oh the pure and simple pleasure of it all.... but one thing I have noticed and time is confirming my suspicions.... i think it has a mind of it's own.... you see it seems to be able to reflect my mood! There are many times that, rather than a random selection chucked out by the shuffle thingy, it selects by moods.... it can play really loud, Nirvana, Foo fighters, Razorlight etc etc just when I am in a very loud and busy mood...othertimes the gentle jack johnson, rufus wainwright, sufjan stevens and the like get played... ??? Does it make sense?

The funniest sight tho' was when I showed my father my photo's from Maui, all now stashed on to the photo's bit, and set up to show as a slideshow... he just didn't get it... he wasn't impressed at all... don't think he realised that these were pictures I had actually taken?

Spent the weekend in the sun on the Isle of Wight at what was a little festival but has pretensions for something much bigger.... and it was good!!! The weather was utterly incredible, for the first time ever at a festival there was no rain, not only no rain but not a threat of rain, nor even barely a cloud in the sky... for the whole four days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Soooooooooooo new discoveries were 'Delays' and Dirty Pretty Things, though I was expecting much from DPT's I had never heard of the Delays at all...they were a bit hippydippy and definitely a summer festival sound, the lead singer had the most amazing falsetto that sounded actually more choirboy than adult man... it was good- honest!... and Carl Barat from DPT's was solidly good, Bang Bang... their new single, decidedly aimed at the demise of Pete Doherty, came across really strongly. Think they are glad to leave his antics behind and just get on with the music. Lou Reed was a bit grumpy, but then he was Lou Reed and well what do you expect. He did a quick version of 'Waiting for your man' which I rather liked.... Foo Fighters were a very professional top class sort of band, there was a lovely moment when Dave Grohl returned to the drums and Taylor Hawkins took on the vocals...didn't like The Editors at all as they just seemed Morrisey clones... Prodigy got everyone jumping, Placebo and Primal Scream both did solid sets and Coldplay did their most excellent live performance... I find it really odd that a band I never was impressed with in the slightest can be so different live... they really come to life and actually rock, and rock loud! Somehow their songs have meaning and they rock!!??I find it all rather inexplicable....??

Took time returning and sort of went via a beach in Shanklin... getting off the ferry though it would have been so easy to turn left instead of right, those signs saying "The West' were really calling out loud....

but headed back towards Cambridgeshire and am now back working at Mepal and I feel I just don't want to be here.....

Ok so here it is a picture of me riding a wave, hmmmmm yes it is small and I am studying my feet but ...............!

My role was pretty easy.. I had to drive the girls to the beach, unload the surfboards and then join in withthe surf lessons!! Tough heh! Must admit to not actually getting started with the yoga as I found I had gopher type things to do and it was better to get them done during the yoga than miss a surf lesson... we had other things of the agenda too... one afernoon a lady came to do a psychic reading!! I have never been to one of these before so I couldn't resist the tempation to sit in and see what happens. She was a forty something American lady, very pleasant and smiley and she explained that when she was channelling she would actually be 'taken over' by a member of the spirit world so would sound different... she did... she had an accent of a bombay gentleman!! which was a little disconcerting! So people started asking questions and the answers were seemingly very apt, felt the need to ask something as everyone was so I said

'I have sorted out the work thing but can you tell me about my relationships' I sort of left this open as I thought that maybe she/he would give some advice about my relationship with Josh!

A big beaming smile spread across her face and she laughed... she chuckled as she said to me ' Well I can see you have danced with many partners' !!!!!!!!!!!!!! a nice way of putting it I thought, she went on to tell me that I was going to the wrong dancing classes that it was as if I was an advanced salsa dancer looking for a partner in a beginners ballroom class, and that I should really think through the type of 'dancer' I was meeting and maybe change tactics a bit as I became disappointed quickly because I was making the wrong choices!!!!!!!!!hmmmmmmmmmm

The retreat was held on the east side of the island which was considerably warmer that the west and isn't so windy. The sun was shining most days and it had that balmy air of the tropics. Plant life was incredibly flamboyant ad I was walking round in a state of blissful amazement most of the time. In fact I don't think I have smiled so much ever before.

The women on the yoga/surf retreat were an interesting bunch of ladies to say the least and time was spent learning about their lives in a relaxed and beautiful setting. We had one of the larger cottages as HQ and we were dispersed around in a variety of cottages and hotel rooms, so you had your own space to escape to if needed. It was an ideal combination....

So spent a couple of days in Pa'ia wandering around, sitting on the beach at Baldwin, going to Mana foods which was a rather large and very friendly health food shop where all of Pa'ia seemed to come to socialise. Very soon I was starting to recognise people and everyone greeted one another with cheery Aloha's and big enveloping hugs... it was a very very warm atmosphere to be in after the chill of Cambridge

Stayrd with Me-Shell for a couple of days to help in the preparations of the retreat. Had my first driving lessons in a jeep carrying 8 surfboards! Driving for the first time ever in an automatic was excellently easy, driving for the first time everon the wrong side of the road took a little longer to get used to but after a couple of days I was able to negotiate junctions reasonably competantly! Iwas ready in time as I was the main driver and the person to collect everyone from the airport and to ferry them to the Royal Lahaina

Need to write before the trip to Maui becomes such a distant memory that the details get forgotten. This after all was one of the reasons for starting the blog way back when! I have fearful images of forgetting everything and sitting in an old and battered upright armchair in a home, dribble slowly escaping the corner of my mouth and my head empty of all the stuff of life. But stored away electronically here on Delilah are my memories... so better get writing!

Arrived exhausted and excited to be met by Me-Shell at the airport. It was a relief to see a blond haired woman carrying a placard saying Swellwoman as I was beginning to wonder just how I would cope if no-one turned up. Was being quite chilled by that point as I was already there and felt quite comfortable in finding a hostel and just chilling for three weeks. But anyway Me-Shell was there and she took me to a hostel in Pa'ia called Rainbow's End...

Back home, smiling

and there I sooooo many pictures... will have to find a suitable site to load them on.... hopefully the turtles will look as serene... the bamboo as stark ...and the flowers as flamboyant as they are here in this little place of unreality

oh my oh my so in love with the place and today is my last day.... so the agenda: having my ears done with the candle thingy stuff... you know what it's like ... you are walking around the local health food store and someone you met at a reading of Gibran's The Prophet offers to do your ears for you... how can you say no!!!!! After that I have to return my trusty surfboard, kiss it farewell and say mahalo for it's help in getting me riding the waves... then this afternoon will be spent on Baldwin Beach, my favourite beach in this area... then I'm organising dinner for my new friends and we will all go to the airport together where I will catch a flight away from this wonderful little island.... where am I going?? Is this not home? what is this place called Cambridge???? Will all the hippydippyness fall off as I ascend upwards????? Bringing home a bit of a tan and a big big smile.....

Another quick posting from Maui

All has been wonderful here I am so loving it! At the moment I am staying with a very lovely couple called Heather and Rob who have a room. The house is in Haiku which is in Upcountry Maui, an area in the mountains and forest, it has a beautiful view of the sea and bamboo growing in the garden, which is all quite amazing! Have rented a car and yesterday I drove to Kihei to meet new friends made last week on the retreat. Kihei is in the south and much warmer with hardly any rainful, so went a little pink in the sun, swam in the sea which was just across the road from the cottage they had rented and sat on their lanai (porch) and shared a little wine

and today... it is all just so good as I had tried to get tickets to see Jack Johnson last week but the festival was all sold out.. turns out though that Rob, who is a big environmentalist worker on the island has a stall and one of his volunteers has dropped out... so I get to go to the gig!!!! and will be helping doing a bit of raising awareness too!

Amazingly writing this in an internet cafe in Maui! Have time running out on me so will be utterly succinct

Magic!

Awesome!

Incredible!

Every morning I travel through Jesus Green



in Cambridge and there's a flock(?) of gulls idling around, picking worms, squwarking a bit, generally just milling about. Over the last couple of weeks these birds have changed from their winter plumage to their summer one! At first I noticed just one black head amongst them, then a couple, and this week it's all of them!! Does this mean it's now summer and I can't for the life of me think what the advantage is of having a black head in the summer and a white one in the winter... camoflage????? Sadly today though the flock were huddled together, facing the wind, hunkered down to avoid the rain!!!

Hawaii is on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh I am a happy woman xx

ha ha !!! so I made some phone calls, told people what was required and.... I'm still waiting! The original mortgage company deny that the new solicitors requested the deeds, the new solicitors insist they did... so who pays for this?? me.. I have longer to wait, another month's astronomical mortgage to pay and still an unknown completion date gets further and further in to the distance...

on a more positve note I bought a bicycle... and I love it!!! enjoying zipping along! and tonight I buy a beat up old Rover which will last hopefully at least a couple of months... so now I'm all ready to gooooooo! .......... but where???? Think it is time to make decisions, hand in my notice, do up my flat on a full time basis rather than hoping for a burst of energy at the weekends (which just isn't happening) and book at least a couple of weeks holiday somewhere warm....and then spend the summer in my little caravan in Mepal....

really looking forwad to the Isle of Wight festival as the line up includes Lou Reed.. saw him a couple of times in the 70's and he is quite a mesmerising performer...have been looking at pictures of last years festival and it looks sooooo small.. there is just the one main stage... which is great as there wont be that rushing around trying to catch acts thing that is Glastonbury... we'll be able to find a spot, spread the blankets and sit.... cool indeed... the webpage also requests that deckchairs are not taken... wouldn't that be lovely if that is taken seriously! If no-one has them then it all becomes less territoial and a lot easier to see the bands when sitting! God I am really looking forward to it already!!! Have booked the ferry and going a day early, might be able to get a day on the beach in as well!!!!

Got to get to grips with this!! Instead of sitting waiting must do! have phone calls to make people to talk to to make it happen... no sitting trembling, waiting....

It's all happening and it's not happening... a weird little waiting time.... and I'm sitting in a public library with streaming cold ....there's snow outside....

waiting for some sort of decision about what is happening in Mexico/San Fransisco? still no flights booked, no decision made, no idea what is happening

remortgage is supposedly happening but I'm in limbo at the moment, scared to imagine it really will happen, terrified it wont... it will be like my last 10 christmases all come at once if it does... have soooooo much i now feel the need to buy and it's not little stuff! have been looking at digital camera's... very excited by the Olympus SP 350!!!! ipods are jumping out at me from everywhere and I saw a cute little mountain bike (a little Giant, no less!) yesterday that looks perfect!! Dare not breath in case none of this actually happens... feel like I'm about 5 and trying to be good in case Father Christmas is real and true and he really will bring me all I want/need/desire but only if I am good and I'm not sure I know how to be!!!

Got Graham Coxon's new CD last night... love it already... and the interview!!!! He still is so that 6 year old, who's a bit embarrassed by it all, but it's almost like he's accepted who he is now and ummmmm almost happy with it?? Anyway great CD! the music has that raw edge of something new and exciting and am looking forward to seeing him live on the 30th.

had a go at the Guardian netjetters competition yesterday... interesting as it is looking for two new people for 2006 who fit into either a green category or a grey one.. I feel I am perfect for both! which probably meant my entry has fallen in the gap between them both!