Ha! I've just done the quiz.. what 20th century theorist are you? and I ended up as (and as I can't make the link work....) quote-

Martin Heidegger! Your reputation is stained a bit by the fact that you were a member of the Nazi party, but your groundbreaking Being and Time is still read by a whole lot of people. You overuse the hyphen, and make up a lot of words. You died in 1976


Oh dear oh dear......trouble is I have always been vastly impressed by Heidegger's Being and Time - and his phenomenoligical outpourings - and he always stressed authenticity as being so vital, which I totally go with - though he does look at it all with a somewhat anthropocentric perspective - and yet he was a Nazi ??? how could he have been? this is something I have pondered for a while.... as you do............ ahhh well it is friday afternoon - a time prone to ponderings. ...and I was awake at 4.00am (Thanks Sacha! XX).... need sleep

Been a busy week! Most amazingly won the pub quiz!!! Maybe because it was a quiet night, it was raining hard when we headed to the Mayflower and we realised that competion might be lessened because of teh weather but I think actually it was the fact that this week we joined forces with 4 other people! Romped home to a win and I do so like winning! Trouble was that I'd already had my alloted sensible amount of red wine and as we won just about the right amount for a round of drinks it seemed appropriate to celebrate our victory with a large glass!! Sadly I barely remember the walk home, but woke with the taste of victory in my mouth the following morning, or was that............?
Then to the comedy cafe with Pete on wednesday night. Now wednesday night is a bit of a dodgy one to choose..... it's free to get in which is good but you get to watch 5 or 6 virgin comedians stutter and stumble their way through their, obviously well prepared, little 5 minute pieces. Hhmmmmmmm some of it was excruciatingly painfull, one poor chap launched himself on the stage, voice barely audible and blurted out his punch line for the first joke before he'd actually managed to relate the joke, you could almost see his brain scrambling to rejoin his head and fight to regain control of his mouth... but he was better than The Canadian who became so obnoxious and abusive that he left the stage with everyone now with a well defined hatred of any canadian whatsoever... Tim Styles was good and I even remember his name! Actually it was a very enjoyable evening!

Life has an odd way of imitating TV at times! Last night I felt I was totally immersed in a soap plot. Sometimes it is all truely unbelievable .... so ........ last week had me down to my last 90p and it was 4 days from pay day. Oddly I resigned myself to my, somewhat habitual, penury as I walked out of the tube station late that night. I felt totally calm and just shrugged my shoulders and decided not to worry about it as I could always cycle to work and I had enough food, so philosophically reconciled I turned the corner and there, right in front of me, lit by the glow of the street light was a £5 note! So I had more than enough to get me through the week and felt very grateful to life for supplying my need.
and then last night..... got home from work really tired but a friend phoned to say could she come swimmming, flatmate Sarah was up for it too so the three of us headed around the back of the building to the pool. Must admit to not actually swimming for more than 5 minutes before heading for the heat and bubbles of the jacuzzi.... ended up all three sitting in there and conversation turned to my friend's next date, she has a boyfriend but has been asked out by a mega rock star to go to lunch..... I suddenly realised the vast contrast ... last week I was picking up someone's lost change and being really in need of a few extra pennies This week I am lounging in my jacuzzi with 2 friends discussing the dilemma of dating rockstars!!! Life is a bit weird at times! But at least it isn't dull!!!

Last night after cycling home, and as usual getting lost, I went out........ wandered up Rotherhithe Street and eventually came to a part of Rotherhithe I have never been before, discovered a job centre, health centre and the object of the search, a library! It was brightly lit and the doors were welcomingly open so after taking a deep breath I headed up the steps. Inside I could see a gathering of people so I aimed for that, chairs were set out in a circle and a number had already been claimed. In one corner a couple of women were pouring wine into glasses and chatting, after a couple of seconds of taking in the scene I introduced myself to a wine pourer and was welcomed into the fold, offered wine and asked to find a chair. I had made it into my first reading group experience!!!! The group was larger than I anticipated and quite diverse though I guess the majority were 50 something women there were exceptions.. the young Chinese man and 40 ish gay bloke being the most obvious. The book they had read last month was Washington Square by Henry James, obviously I was at a bit of a disadvantage as I hadn't read it but it turned out I wasn't the only one and the conversation was lively at times challenging at others and dire on a couple of occassions. Turns out that next month they don't have a book to read but are having a Christmas party, so it will be January before I can really expereince the whole reading group thing... I have to produce a list of my favourite 10 books before the Christmas Party though, so that will take some thought!!

Interesting article in The Onion about what to do if Mom discovers your Blog! Think I have tackled this one in reverse....... when living in Cambridge I had my blog in my favourites list. Then Josh started using my computer, he looked and read about himself!! He wasn't too happy about my interpretation of his actions! It was about the time they told me of Hayley's pregnancy and so I had written about it (April?) ....... it's difficult to totally avoid the personal and so my policy is to put stuff that I would say to the person involved and if I wouldn't do that then it's best not to include it in the blog.........

Had a weird conversation about acid with J&J recently which I didn't write about as I have at times been a long way away from an available computer...... suffice to say the conversation was about shared experiences and how some stuff just hasn't changed!! Must admit I had never thought I'd be having a 'my favourite trip' conversation with my boys!!!

Home at last and it is utterly lovely!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Feel very very lucky to have found it. The flat is gorgeous and already we have pictures on the wall, books on the bookcase .... it is a home! Even been very efficient in sorting out the phone line so am in touch with the world, just need a computer and life is complete.... and the swimming pool is a bit of a bonus!!!! As I haven't been sleeping too well and have been wide awake very early I am now able to don big hoody and trackie bottoms and with just a quick walk around the building I am at poolside within a minute of leaving the flat..... I have had the pool to myself, well it was 7.30! but actually being alone in a pool gives a real sense of pure enjoyment and freedom...... dived in, swam a few lengths and then realised I didn't need to just go up and down but could go in circles. Amazing what years of ingrained behaviour can do in that it took me a while to work this out!! So I swam and loved it........ will work on a few breathing techniques over the winter and then maybe that triathlon wont seem so impossible!!!!!! Life is good!

Ha! Now I know what I have been doing for the last three weeks... Sofa surfing!!!!!!!!! well I have surfed the internet, surfed the sea, surfed a set of concrete stairs on an ironing board, windsurfed, surfskied and now I am an accomplished sofa surfer too!!! It's amazing the skills you can clock up without even realising... Read an article in th Guardian yesterday about the phenomenon of sofa surfing and luckily my experience has just been a temporary blip but there are others out there who for various reasons, mostly to do with cost of housing and lack of decent references, have to rely on the support and kindness of friends for long periods of time. Must be awful to have no home and no personal space for a protracted period, three weeks has been enough for me ... though I don't know how to say a big enough thank you to friends who have given me space and time........ Many many thanks

and tomorrow I move into my new flat... will bring news of life with flatmate...

Was just looking through the archive as this blog is over a year old now... longer than I ever managed to keep a journal going... but what a year to record! Personally it has been a very dramatic year... this time last year I was working for an obscure scientific charity producing two highly regarded scientific journals in the field of fertility so I was reading some fascinating articles about elephant sperm and the like!! But it got a little dull.... then I met someone fell in love and moved to London, whilst in the process of moving my youngest was involved in a hit and run, my eldest became a potential father and my lover was held up in a bank robbery.... and now after the longest hottest summer on record I am working on the fringes of the fashion industry organising the travel back and forth from various fashion shows, have crashed a car, drunk my way through countless bottles of wine, realised I have got some very very good friends, been clubbing and gone to Glastonbury for the first time, moved out, and found a flat with a swimming pool attached! Youngest still having problems with his broken collarbone but he has found a very sweet and supportive and handsome boyfriend, eldest still inthe same relationship, they have just celebrated their first anniversary though without the potential child and both sons are working!!.... hmmmmmmmmm some year and I'm only 45 still!!

Hidden away from the world for the last couple of days, many thanks to Neela for providing not only a sofa but a bed too!!! So only a week to go until I move into my new flat, god this has been traumatic and totally draining... have hidden away in books too this last two weeks. Have devoured Vernon God Little, Astonishing splashes of colour, The divine secrets of the Ya-Ya sisterhood and the not to be forgotten Who moved my cheese! plus started Brick Lane when I was in Bethnal Green and left it behind... is it a form of escapism I wonder to immerse oneself in a fictional world for a day or two?? Pondering the possibility of finding a reading group so that I have to really focus my reading a bit more and have something to say about the experience afterwards..... any suggestions?
A week to go...... so far I have bought a mattress, sorted a few things out in Cambridge and have tried desperately hard to remember the size and proportions of the place that we so briefly saw in what seems like an age ago and to think next week I'll be living there!!!!

Still living on people's sofa's and becoming very tired of it all.... will not get the keys to the new flat until the 7th which seems to be getting further away rather than closer, it is now 10 days away. But it's one of those arrangements that keep getting put off and seems forever to be 10 days away ... starting to wonder if I'll ever actually have a home again! It's also making stuff like cooking in one's own kitchen seem like the most desirable thing in the world.... was wandering around M&S last night and getting excited at the thought of a microwave dinner for one!!! Heard from Sarah this morning my new flatmate to be, she mentioned the mini-mirrored balls and pink sheepskins that are available on Deptford market hmmmmmm well it will be a laugh no less!!!
Reading Vernon God Little which is perhaps not ideal reading for a footloose and homeless transient to read but I love his ummmm what do you call them ... misreadings? misconceptions? such as 'Adult Hitler' and 'powerdime shifts'.... a world of little depth, subtlety or understanding... angst ridden humour!

Find myself living in Bethnal Green as a temporary measure and actually find I really enjoy the area, there's a vitality here that is utterly missing in Rotherhithe and I feel very alive and full of energy. It might be a little shabby but it's colourful and vibrant. I am walking to walk which is a delight and there are sights along the way that make you smile. Not only John Travolta and Samuel L Jackson all suited as in Pulp Fiction holding bananas at arms length on Old St but also the bridge over Old Street with the uniformed smiley faces and the words KEEP LEFT centrally positioned.... but there's also wonderful little bits of stencilled graffitti such as the punk with little purple wings on Ion Sq Gdns and a number of pavement sketches that you smile as you walk over...

Time zipping by again and its now October!!

Had another look at The Blaine....... looks a tad thinner but still up there perplexingly?? Dead odd! Still haven't really worked out my ambivalence, but anyway..... went on the London Eye last sunday and it was all that I expected! well as I hadn't really had any expectation that's not as good as it sounds. went with sons + partners and Pete.... good views indeed and the sun was just setting so the light was really interesting.

Other things recently worth a remark or two have been Holmes Place in Kensington.. very nice gym/leisure centre ... had a long swim, a bit of a jacuzzi, a moment of steam room and lots of lusciously hot powerful showers....... cool indeed! I will be back! That is if A keeps working there and sneaks me in for free!!

Had a look at Friendster yesterday and thought it worth a few moments of registering so have attempted that today but its not sending out the email verification and as I'm Billy-no-mates I can't really look around the site until someone else does too??? am I understanding this correctly??? Neela what was the thing about the 5 words to describe someone.. could not see that anywhere???? Five words to describe me......short hapless alcoholic.... hmmmmmm thats only three, must put on my positive hat!!....... !!

hmmmmmm just received an email from Travel Italia asking for reciprocal links so I have complied.. will it make a difference to my site I wonder.... any emails from anyone else about this would be good

Anyway the weekend......... had another wander up to see David Blaine on Friday, it was afternoon very pleasant weather and he was obviously enjoying it all... waving smiling and looking remarkably relaxed for a man that hasn't eaten for a week. A friend though went to look later on friday and described a very different atmosphere, he said that people were abusive and there was a general feel of aggression in the air, at one point a firework was released and the glass cage visibly rocked. DB must feel somewhat vunerable!

After having a look at the man we wandered around the Design Museum which has some fascinating bits of stuff in it as well as the ubiquitous Alessi kettle! Wanderings continued to Browns- newly opened in Shad Thames where we had dinner, a very efficiently produced and tasty meal ... Pete had driven up in an electric car so we headed home following the Thames path in a narrow Noddy-like red car, unfortunately the batteries are not very efficient and any slight upward gradient meant the lights dimmed and the car slowed to worse than walking pace!! Luckily we were not on the road holding up vast queues of maddened London drivers!

Yesterday was spent in hard labour on the boat! It is now empty, we must have moved 20 tons of rubbish, assorted metal pieces, bags of gravel and all manner of tat.. it is now empty! and we will be living in it by the end of October, dont know whether to be excited or horrified at the prospect... at the moment I'm just feeling exhausted

Forgot to mention about the surfing with Ruby Wax!! Bank holiday weekend Pete and I headed to Cornwall... weather was wonderful, St Agnes just utterly lovely I really want to move there right now!! People were really really friendly and unlike Newquay it hasn't lost its Cornish charm at all...... so we booked a surf lesson, turned out that it was fully booked by Ruby Wax and family/entourage..... so I watched Ruby's first attempts at surfing !! Which is an odd way to spend a bank hollday monday, we did get to have a go though as we stayed an extra day....... waves were the biggest I've ever seen in Cornwall and my underwater somersaults were spectacular!!! Decided this should be a new sport, particularly as I am soooooo good at it. I managed loads of 360's a few forward flips and even the occassional back flip, plus the ungainly sideways 3/4 flip to land face first in the sand, not elegent I grant you but utterly spectacular!

Went to see David Blaine last night, well he is in walking distance of home so it would seem churlish not to! So we wandered as a group, Pete and his kids, me and my boys and Steve a friend planning to have a drink in Shad Thames whilst in the area. It's a very pleasant bit of London and DB has chosen an excellent view for his sojourn into the self. We arrived on the other side of the bridge and it took a few moments to spot anything different but saw the crane first. So we wandered to far side of the bridge past a hot dog seller, will DB gets smells wafting up to him of bland frankfurter sausages and magnificent fried onions?? Above our heads in a narrow glass casket was a sort of duvet bundle, very reminscent of the bundle of the fusty grey homeless that lurk in doorways all over town. As there was little proof that an actual person was even in there it also reminded me of the duvet bundle that is placed under normal bedding by teenagers (well I did it anyway!) when they have gone out without permission and rather hope that the parents wont look too closely into a darkened room. But I digress we made lots of comments like it could be a robot, a lookalike and other similar suggestions and then there was movement from above and all heads turned upwards as DB slowly stood up. This was accompanied by a rousing cheer, the man in teh glass box proceeded to remove his jumper hang it up and wrap himself up in his bundle again and then subside once more to the bottom of the box. As far as I could see the person looked remarkably like David Blaine so I would say it was him!? Such an odd spectacle though, very zoolike in its voyeuristc qualities!! A man has chosen to place himself above humanity?? Is he watching the crowds that gather with the same sense of unease that I watched him?? Obviously his unease will be far greater as he is supposedly doing this without food, though I think it would very stupid if the water doesn't have some colourless nutritional addition to it, vitamins and supplements and maybe a sedative or two would make survival of 44 days sort of possible. DB's view of the Tower of London though, from across the river, is absolutely gorgeous with its floodlit turrets and ancient stone walls, it might help though probably after a few days you would stop appreciating the sights!
But, and there is always a but.... traffic was appalling last night as anyone crossing the bridge slowed to look and I would guess that by the level of traffic everyone who was travelling anywhere in the vacinity decided to take a look too. This is going to make driving utterly unbearable if it carries on for 44 days!

Travel by tube is generally an unexciting thing, it's often too warm and horribly crowded but recently I have noticed the phenomenon of the button pusher and it has intrigued me.... the whole tube experience is very automatic and probably for the first time ever I have felt utterly ant like in my insignificant crawling through tunnels along with vast numbers of fellow travellers. but there are amongst that number some who appear to believe they have some control over the system. They display this idea of control by pushing the button to open the train doors Ha! have they not seen that the doors open automatically regardless of human interaction?? that the whole movement is completely pointless?? that they are completely wasting their time?? or do they blithely wander around truely believing that unless they take part in this action the door will not open and the twenty or so people also waiting to get on board would just stand there looking at an unopened door???? What a wonderful sense of self importance they must have!!

off to see Morcheeba at Somerset House tonight.. will get the riverboat too which is a very pleasant idea as an alternative to a cab or the tube ........ still in London........... still part of a couple...... stiill pondering


saw Terminator last week..... all a bit of fun really! must admit to enjoying watching Arnie as the terminator and taking the piss out of it all.. he is obsolete but at least is aware of it and his older model was a pure parody of a former one

in serious run away mode..... Cornwall is beckoning even harder than ever and I just want to run............................surf.............. climb.....................

have started looking at jobs and houses... on my own........... my own place........... hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

and tonight it's Astanga yoga!!! yet another course I have signed up for, this one is a 6 week beginners course in power yoga!! Should be fun and as I am so stiff and achey from last night the stretching should combine well with climbing..... by the end of the 6 weeks I might even be on my way to a reasonable level fitness again which means I can eat vast dinners and drink copiuous amounts of alcohol with impunity!

Went climbing last night and scared myself silly but it was sooo good! Did the course a couple of weeks ago and have been down to the centre a couple of times since to try out all the exciting new techniques.... hmmmmmm boy can I smear well now!! Anyway sort of realised that my confidence is fine with top roping, I can happily climb to dizzying heights and make interesting moves if I have a rope attached.... but without a rope I have been a little wuzzy, until last night that is! There are a couple of sort of slabs (walls leaning away from you as you climb, makes it loads easier!) and I have free climbed these though must admit to pounding heart and liquid knees at first.... so the confidence has been growing a bit.. and I have progressed to doing the harder climbs on the easy slab...... last night........ wandered around and tried free climbing a wall that we had top-roped on the course. It has massive bolt-ons and chunky holds mainly because it has a very severe overhang at the top of the wall... so I looked at it and remembered how easy it was to climb with a rope.... actually felt a bit like walking up a ladder sooooooooo I decided to free climb but only up to 15ft when I planned to jump............. thing was when I was up there I was really enjoying the challenge and decided to continue.... and it was fun, not too difficult and even at the overhang bit the holds were solid ....... until the end.......... the wall ends on a platform, a flat platform with a couple of bolt-ons to grab and pull yourself up with.... trouble was there was nowhere for my left foot to go to push myself up from... and I was at this point about 25ft up dangling on an overhang with steadily growing panic /adrenaline coursing through my veins! hmmmmmm luckily someone saw my plight and offered a hand (how embarrassing but very very useful) sooo next time I am determined to do the same climb tho' this time I will look first before I start climbing to see exactly where my left foot can go. This is totally the advantage of using a climbing wall, you can go over and over the same climb until you get it right whereas climbing outdoors you generally do a route once and move on to something else...........