Yesterday was a wonderful day........ took the Landrover out for it's final trip with me and we have become very close over the last two weeks....it did handsomely well taking Josh and Hayley plus washing machine back to Devon, and it managed to contain all of my sister's family with J& J and Hayley on a little jaunt around Cambridgeshire in search of zoo's and parks, it is also a cure for depression as on Boxing day after discovering a burnt out shower and no electrics on my return home after a ghastly Christmas I was smiling again by the time I reached B& Q as it was such a pleasure to just drive the beast!

so yesterday found me driving into the deepest darkest fen... it was bleak and fairly windy, the skyscape expansive and dramatic and I had to chug along behind agricultural traffic at a ponderous 30 to 40 mile an hour knowing I could not afford to be late for my interview! Slightly stressful! Plus not really knowing what I had volunteered myself to do. The interview was to consist of an introductory session and would include 'activities'! The letter reassured me that the activities would not require a wetsuit but apart from that it was a bit of an unknown quantity.

I arrived to find an almost empty car park and taking a deep breath walked in to the outdoor centre.... to a friendly greeting and the discovery that I was the first to arrive... the centre is easy to to spot as it has a rather large tent-like appearance to the main building, it's a bit of a miniture Millenium dome like structure ... so I was shown around the centre... the lake is really clear and there is quite a bit of woodland so once there are leaves on the trees it should be quite an attractive site... there is an indoor climbing wall and also a high ropes section which looks like lots of fun... a 35 ft high structure with a high trapeze, minute standing platforms, a free fall bit... looks excellent! all of it is top roped so it's all remarkably safe too!

so the first indication that things had gone well was when Rob asked if I could go on a 4 day archery course, then he mentioned a sailing course, then something about a climbing wall supervisors course... after lunch more details were discussed and i was asked if I could start on 21st March!!!!! So this summer I will be back working in an outdoor centre doing an activity I love!!! Magnificent!!!

It's the Winter Solstice today, the shortest day of the year and an ancient and almost global celebration... so I will light a candle to ensure that the sun rises tomorrow....

lots of love to all


Delilah xx

SOME DEATHS TAKE FOREVER

Recently R4 has had a poll to find the women's watershed book... which was a quest for a book that really changed lives and I was pleased to see my first choice 'The Women's Room' by Marilyn French came in second (above line is a memorable quote) which means that others also recognise the momentous affect this book could actually have on readers lives... at the time it confirmed for me many many doubts I had about marriage and relationships and was maybe a bit of a catalyst at the end of my own marriage... so I was glad to see it there high on the list... reason for mentioning this list though is the odd choice for number one, the winner was Pride and Prejudice... yes a good book, an excellent read but surely not a life-changing read??? I can't imagine for a moment that one person after reading Elizabeth's Bennett's witty capture of a suitable husband would change their life in any way whatsoever??? Odd really...

so it's getting near Xmas, found myself inexplicably pondering the purchase of stuff... ???

really don't have enough time to do this posting justice. saturday was brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! daytime was spent standing, bouncing in the middle of a zebra crossing opposite Camden Market forcing people to hoot their car horns, waving and calling out, handing leaflets into moving vehicles whilst wearing tiger ears...



then a quick change into a father christmas costume and accompanied by a 6 foot australian wearing pixie ears handing out lollipops with the lovely slogan .........'Esso Sucks' ... then to the pub to drink too many beers in excellent company....... then off to Kentish Town Forum to meet S and R and see Graham Coxon...... now I might be biased as I think Graham is an excellent guitarist/performer but this gig was even better than any of his I've seen!!! Got right to the front with barely room to jiggle/breathe, bounced as much as possible, watched a couple of people faint, got kicked by crowd surfers, ended up looking like I'd been in the shower fully dressed, my face turned as pink as a beetroot..... and I loved every moment!! Graham was brilliant and he even brought a friend on stage to sing.... the friend was Pete Doherty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who did a wonderful version of a Libertines favourite Time for Heroes!!!!!!!!!!

an excellent day indeed

had an odd weekend... went to London on a spur of the moment thing.... met a rather predatory poet... was telling Josh about it and he thought I was talking about a sort of poetry genre that he'd never heard of... you know rather like 'The Liverpool Poets' but in this case 'The Predatory Poets'... this got me pondering.... predatory poetry would involve stealing a line or two from some other poem and inserting it into the 'new' poem... so I had a go....



The Predatory Poet


He sat engulfed with lust
Or was it boredom perhaps?
That spurred him to battle and to hopeful conquest.
She was unsuspecting but wanting too, in behest
Of an undefined something,
Company perhaps?
She had a vague hunger arising
but was not sure where to focus.
Her need was soon engulfed by flattery
Consumed by the interest; a stupid moth in search of light.
Tyger, tyger burning bright, in the forest of the night.
He saw the need, and intense and proud
Felt he was the one to satisfy,
Regardless of others,
Whose desires he ignored.
Overtaken, but enthralled, she responded with cries
In what distant deeps or skies burnt the fire of thine eyes?
But others needs came to the fore
He backed away angry, unsure
She realised then her complete mistake.
A fool; a moth with wings burnt dark
She turned away and looked elsewhere.
Intent on meeting again he quenched his desire.
On what wings dare he aspire? What, the hand, dare seize the fire?
She left, not looking back
Spurned his attempts to speak once more
It had become of no consequence,
Extinguished, cold and black




ok so maybe not the best poem in the world but is it the first predatory poem ??

and the Scissor sisters gig was marvellous!!!!!!! wasn't invisible there... bounced around and even pulled, trouble was I hadn't realised I'd pulled as it was a woman! Thought she was just being friendly but Jake assures me she was 'more' than friendly!!! anyway we bounced to Take your mama, sang loudly to all songs, watched Jake in all his costume changes and loved Ana's running commentary... oh god it was good............!


Graham in a couple of weeks

have been researching my powers of invisibility recently... at the moment my art is quite unreliable and at times very unpredictable but it is increasing! Oddly in London it never happened but here in Cambridge odd events are occurring with more regularity... of course I have always had the knack of being invisible when standing at a crowded bar....but now it is happening in unexpected places....it is an art that can be perfected I am sure... maybe with another few years I might be really competant and be invisible to all but my closest family but as it is at the moment it seems that it's only complete strangers that do not see me... to test my skills I find that walking in the centre of town is an ideal setting. Whilst walking or even striding purposefully along something must happen to my molecules and I just simply disappear.... I become insignificant, unnoticeable... irrelevent even... people can keep walking towards me and continue as if I wasn't there... strangely though I dyed my hair, removed the grey and became visible again.... ??

discovered this in my wanderings... simple and quite quite beatiful!

ah ha but tonight is not just a rally!!! Tonight I have a gig to go to too!!!!

Actually got out of the habit of saying in advance where I was going , mainly because of Pete, when we were splitting up. The thought of him reading the blog and then turning to 'surprise' me just made me wary, but now I realise it just doesn't matter.... being single does have some advantages!!!


So tonight!

Tonight is the Scissor Sisters last gig of the tour and we are going!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah got the tickets ages ago and as the man said there were only three tickets left she bought the last three!!!!!!!!! Which means Jake gets to go too!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loads of exclamation marks are required, glitter is required, cheap champagne is required!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well the sun is shining amazingly, the world has survived another day but will it survive 4 more years???????????

feeling saddened... saddened that that massive turnout of voters were actually voting for Bush! That they queued for hours to vote for him is scary, that they crept out in their droves to ensure he had the highest number of votes of any American President ever.. it is beyond me..... completely beyond me

so I am going on a march tonight.... to register my dismay ..... to act rather than hide away for the next few years..... I feel a need...........

Glum

Splendid splendid day on Saturday!!!!

Met up with Sarah at KIng's Cross... big squeals to see her again and although it's only been two months there was a massive amount of catching up to do! We headed to the Tate Modern....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm the foyer was fairly busy but I struggle with audio art!!! there's well um nothing to look at !? We were heading down the stairs to go give it all a listen when we bumped into little Nick... don't bump into people I know in Cambridge so found it quite delightful to do it in the Tate....soooooo the ummmmmmmmmmm listening art stuff.... well I just didn't get it... bursts of words coming at you, having to huddle in a group to listen to someone repeat the same sentence over and over again????? ........ the members bar beckoned... in fact it was silently screaming an invite at us... which we subliminally heard and responded to !!! Sat for the afternoon on a sofa, with bottle of wine in our immediate focus and St Pauls in the distance a mere stone's throw across the river...an excellent spot to exchange news!

Then headed to La Cave my favourite French restaurant in Borough Market... more wine was consumed and the discourse bubbled along! Headed for Brixton and Franz Ferdinand a happy wobbly woman!! Franz were excellent, very very bouncy very very.....! and I was the annoying woman with backpack bouncing away... in fact a very sweet chappie stood nearby and zipped up my back pack each time it came undone! very very sweet ( and utterly honest!!!!!)

so the day ended really well... wobbled back to Cambridge a very happy woman...

and another thing....!

read 'Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell' last week... an absorbing read indeed... a bit of escapism in some ways as it wasn't deep... nor actually enjoyable... but it was absorbing.... the footnotes were excellent... a whole other world/other book lay tucked within the bottom of the pages.. but it lacked a fuller exploration of relationships between the characters and the female characters were sadly lacking being rather cardboard cutouts... it barely touched the surface ... although it was 'a good read' in many ways... the historical aspect was fully explored.... in fact the Wellington/Napolean/Georgian perspective and the world of magic were completely intertwined in a very satisfying way but I can see why it didn't make the Booker short list.... regardless of it's massive length it just had no depth

so much to say and just not enough time!!

have now taken my brother's bike to have it's brakes fixed and am experiencing urban cycling Cambridge style .. don't think I have ever needed to cycle regularly through the centre at rush hour before now and I find I look back at cycling in London with fond memories!! There is a cameraderie about cycling in London, even, dare I suggest it a certain friendliness between cyclists that is entirely absent here! Cambridge cyclists have no sense of 'us and them'... it is a manic free for all! with nobody actually considering the possibility of other road users... cyclists of all ages, shapes and speeds ride in a manner so blinkered it is positively dangerous... the use of brakes or bells is entirely absent unless it is the inexplicable breaking that occurs at random in a straight stretch of road where one should be able to zoom along... veering out from a side street is undertaken without a care in the world ... I have taken to wearing a helmet!!

still no computer at home and a very busy time in the new job so posts have become infrequent to say the least.. I apologise! Will try to do better!

flat is looking a bit nicer... cleaner clearer and generally getting there!

new job is ok for the moment... I know I will hit boredom levels at some point but hopefully not just yet.. and the setting is pleasant plus I get to see all new posts before they are advertised... it might help!

Last thursday I wandered along to The Cow, well it is just round the corner, to have a drink with Jake... sadly the G& T doubles are cheaper than singles...and they go down so quickly! then we tried a couple of cocktails.... then sensibly decided to go in search of food... happened upon Chez Gerard along Bridge Street... have been in there for meals with the women's group.... it is pleasant enough and as they are a bit of a steak and chips place thought Jake would like it too....The waiter was utterly attentive, we wondered if it was because Steven Hawkin was having a meal there and all the staff were on best behaviour!! I had the salmon which was pleasant enough but now I was on the wine and perhaps being a little loud??? Found it fascinating to watch the antics of SH's nurse who was trying to eat, feed her charge and have a conversation with fellow guest... I, meantime, was explaining to Jake why I thought 'A brief history in Time' was particularly crap... as all its conclusions were based on the premise that all acts and events happen in a way that is explained by reason, that there is no place for the irrational... anyway... we enjoyed ourselves and the waiter seemed very happy.... SH left before us and as he was going past our table he stopped his wheelchair and stared... a very odd sensation being eyeballed (can only describe it as being eyeballed as he really couldn't move much else!!) by such a globally famous person.. I just sort of giggled a hello and he just dribbled.....

after he left the waiter, who had become quite excited by this point, came over.. we thought it was the excitement of having SH in his restaurant but... he bounced over and said... 'I just have to ask... you are Darren from Hollyoaks aren't you?' to Jake... turns out he was more excited by the prospect of serving a soap star than an internationally reknown physicist... I tried to tell him that no, Jake was not Darren, but was in fact Noah from Home and Away but I was laughing too much!

A very pleasant evening!

In the library again, and this time in my lunch hour!! so this will be necessarily brief...

Starting to enjoy Cambridge again... wandering to work is nice as I'm working in the historical centre which is loaded with attractive buildings, sculture and very nice shops... last night went to the arts cinema to see Dead Man's Shoes and excellent British film ...very very British, very dark and disturbing... there was a question and answer session at the end with the director which is always interesting to listen to mostly about the film's background and raison d'etre.... so had wine with old buddy Lisa .... excellent to catch up indeed.... though quite looking forward to actually being at home tonight! A night in !

Work is actually interesting too... all very acronym full... and so jargonistic I feel I am sitting in on a foreign language class at times!!!! Have been given my old user name from when I was a student here and when they finally get my log-in up and running I wonder if I'll have some ancient emails sitting waiting for me to read.. bit odd really being on the other side of the place !!! Trying to look a bit smarter at work but not really succeeding....

Saturday's Greenpeace action was good fun.... but must learn to do the whole moderation thing as far as wine intake goes.. particularly now I have to get a late train back to Cambridge!!! and it would help the memory too as it all got a bit blurred around the edges....

Cambridge! Well it's quiet, the sun has been shining beautifully, tempting me to get outside, sit along the river and drink a bit of rose whilst turning a matching pink! But I have resisted, mostly, and have been trying to make the flat vaguely habitable again... slow and very grubby work indeed! Quite remarkable how complete the deterioration has been! and I am at times doubtful that I can make it a 'home' again... Had a new front door put in yesterday which has been a vast improvement.. feel secure and as if I am making a difference.. plus I can now face cooking in the kitchen again as I have spent two solid days cleaning it!!

had an odd night Tuesday when I met J& J to watch the football... played pool afterwards and then somehow found myself having a coggy back to Max's mansion... dead odd! J (i) and i scuttled away fairly soon after having a viewing of the stuffed wild boar's head and being introduced to M's mother! Trouble is once I've had a couple of beers I am 17 again... and totally forget that a woman in her mid-forties generally doesn't ride on the back of a bicycle being peddled by a 20 year old.. then sneak into friend's house after his parents have supposedly gone to bed, only for a parent to get up to greet son and friends...God knows what she thought!

Reading Festival aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Yes!

Only had a day ticket so was there for the Saturday only, at first I was really happy about this as stories of dire amounts of mud were all over the news pages before we went. But by the end of the evening I sooooo wished I had a tent there and with it the possibility of seeing Graham Coxon, Green Day, Offspring.......

Anyway the line up for Saturday looked pretty good! Arrived as Razorlight came on.... having never been to Reading before I was utterly taken aback by it's size. Somehow I had expected something BIG and yet it was really just one main arena with a couple of other stages..... in fact there was tons of stuff going on outside the arena....which is really unusual for festivals as generally only ticket holders get to join in the fun!! Here you could actually put up a tent, do your festival shopping, join in with the air guitar competition and hear all the main acts for nothing!

Hmm Razorlight were utterly spoiled by their prat of a lead singer.. the music wasn't too bad but Johnny Borell was very full of himself and played the part of the ultimate rock star......... climbing down from the stage to touch his audience was an act too far for the first band of the day!!!!!! Then came The New York Dolls!!!!! Lead singer looked like a Mick Jagger/Lou Reed mix.. a combination that reflects a life of hard drugs, vast quantities of alcohol and maybe a bit of rock and roll thrown in! They did a version of Don't go breaking my heart' which had everyone joining in, well the few people who were at the front of the stage anyway... maybe most had gone off to do their shopping at this point!?! Sad as they missed a really good band... Franz Ferdinand did a good set.. although Sarah and I realised that they were actually a cloned band with all the members being fairly indistinguishable... The Libertines tried really hard without Pete Doherty but didn't get there for me, the vocals just didn't have any errrr umph! Carl Barratt looked cute but lacked a bit!

By this time Sarah and I had supped some ale, danced, sung, and talked to a pile of brand new friends... and the White Stripes came on. I was slightly distracted.. The W S's were good but we had to hike it for the last train... sadly leaving a whole pile of good music, good people and excellent quality mud behind

I might be being a little premature with this one but I love the design!!! and I want one!! It's an ecopod and looks gorgeous, cute and even a little funky.. trouble is it is a coffin! so hopefully I wont be occupying one for a while... but its ideal...made of paper and lined with feathers!!! and suitable for a woodland burial... now just have to find the suitable woodland

Monday and it's raining, really feels like the end of summer today... and it's cold! Very different from the weekend...

Had a Greenpeace 'workshop' on Saturday to go to ... met more lovely intelligent committed people... interesting conversation with someone who makes documentaries (Channel 4 9.00 Wednesday) and was at Cambridge, someone else was a 'home and away' addict and that was hilarious... haven't had a H& A conversation for ages!!!! (Alf Stewart is still my man!!!!) Anyway, the course was, for me, more about confidence building than anything else.. I have never been good at pushing my ideas and beliefs on people... well unless I have had too much to drink and they are close friends.... !! .... tend to think that all are entitled to their own opinion and why should they be remotely interested in what I have to say.... so this was good for me... as talking to people on the street is a very different skill to a class on map skills! So it was good.. I learned that it's more to do with Greenpeace core values and remaining calm..

The evening was interesting! I managed to be late! Well I'd had a few beers in Islington and then the Northern line was seriously delayed, not a good combination! Managed to get the food done with the excellent help of R and then The Esperanza people started arriving... food was eaten which is always a relief when you do the cooking!!.... good company!!! Looking forward to the next one in a month's time! Even enjoyed sunday, getting the place habitable again and relaxing with a newspaper and a content smile on my face............

Reading an interesting book about time ... Pip Pip by Jay Griffiths... hmmm it's written in the style of feminist polemic that I haven't touched for a few years.. that sort of playing with words and themes and vast repetitions that can get a little tiresome... such as

"Modernity's definitions of time, time accountancy, the digital clock with its flip blip for the flitting split second - the same split second- is a thing of no moment. When it comes to defining time, only the oceanic need apply. Time is simply too exquisite to be entrusted to anyone else. Only the oceanic, the Montaignes or Joyces, Shakespeares or Rousseaus, Eastern Philosophers or children. They know their now, they know the really wild vibe of the present is this; now is the only time when the moment can meet the eternal - and they know that the moment is momentous. "

a bit wordy indeed but getting further into the book I find I am re-thinking time and recognising that it is an ideological concept.. this whole linear thing.. I can remember as a child of about 8 deciding that the calender should be drawn as a spiral rather than as a linear progression as for me it all seemd vastly more cyclical...

the words are back .. and how....... so much going on in my head I don't know where to start.. so will start with a much neglected area of this blog...... recently read books...... haven't added to the list in ages and have only mentioned a couple of recent reads (James Frey and Xinran) and as I have been reading books at a rate of knots recently I need to mention a few good ones.... Bill Bryson's 'A short history of nearly everything' is exactly what it says on the cover!! But the really enjoyable thing about this book is it doesn't dumb down anything, unlike most TV documentaries nowadays, this book treats the reader as an intelligent being which is lovely and he certainly covers the history of discoveries and inventions methodically and in his amusingly anecdotal style. There will be something new for anyone who reads this book and some concepts are clearly and delightfully explained. Another romp through the sciences is Nature via Nuture by Matt Ridley.. this time looking at the old battleground of N vs N but showing the inextricable links between the two.. a sort of genetics needs environment needs genetics needs environment arguement... well put but also what amused me about this book was I suddenly found myself siding with some evolutionary psychologists ideas!! An idea previously abhorrant!!! I had always assumed (yes I know I shouldn't !!) that EP was making assumptions from the perspective of the culture we are in... ie that EP explains today's behaviour by the assumed behaviour of prehistoric man you know the idea of Man the Hunter, Woman the Home-maker, without actually having any clue about what relationships between genders was actually like... it could have been made up of female groups with offspring with only transitory visits from male groups perhaps ?? That could explain the phenomenon of group female oestrus... any way I digress....So I ended up following Ridley's argument and generally agreeing with it and then realising it was based around evolutionary pyschology.....and my assumptions about their assumptions were wrong!

Thought this was funny.. mainly because I have no 'decade'!! Obvioulsy I am just too confused and my influences are spread thin.....





what decade does your personality live in?


quiz brought to you by lady interference, ltd

anyway thanks to Damien for this one

Nine days away!!! and the reason? absolutley none... other than I have run out of words........ nothing to say.. weird....... nothing has happened, I have thought nothing........ created nothing....... talked about nothing.... hmmmmmm it's not good!

discovered a gem at the weekend!!! It was a really hot few days, one of those weekends when you need to be on the beach or on the lake at the ski club.. dead hot and I was in the middle of London! Clara suggested a Ladies Pond so after a brief look at it on the internet.. where there were one or two references to lesbian activities (?!)... we headed heathwards Saturday lunchtime... it's bit of a trek... but it was lovely being on the heath and walking through cool tree-shaded pathways.. the ladies pond is hidden away behind trees and shrubs so it is very secluded... there are grassy areas to sunbathe and the pond itself to swim in... swimming eye level to a nesting moorhen was a delightful thing to be doing on a sultry afternoon.. the water was absolutely frreeeezing... quite took the breath away but after swimming for a minute or two I warmed up a bit... I haven't been in such an all female environment since I left an all girls grammar school when I was 13... but it was lovely and calm, if there were any lesbians there they were not the predatory sort and it was quite delightful indeed... so went slightly browner with a pleasing absence of white bits... lovely

webstats.... it's interesting to see that Delilah is being read.. and thank you to Astrofish for sending a number of people this way... Love what it says about Capricorns worrying on that site! At first I wanted to say.. 'never! me? I'm such a chilled person!' but remembering the week prior to Glasto.. when I was heading off into the unknown on my own... hmmmm yes must admit to worrying a tad overmuch about it all!!!!! anyway the point to this posting is to ask people to leave the occassional comment... even maybe get a bit of a conversation going between you ?... that could be interesting.... would love to hear from you...

Whilst walking to work this morning I was pondering the new banksy statue that has been put up illegally in Clerkenwell Green… must go have a look at lunchtime…. It shows ‘justice’ as a prostitute and I was thinking how true this was and remembering my one experience as a witness to a case that became rather public… as I was thinking about what happened I realised I am still very angry about what occurred… the experience left me with a bitter taste of British justice indeed.

Simply what happened was we had a party where a number of friends, and friends of friends, turned up… much drinking of cocktails ensued and at some point a friend having had vastly too much to drink went to bed. An acquaintance ‘looked after her’ as she was vomiting and then he raped her… trouble was he didn’t think of it as rape… she did, she was unable to give either consent or to say no and in her eyes she was raped… the court saw it differently… the ‘chap’ was a handsome and intelligent rugby type from a very good family, who could afford the best defence, she was an attractive and intelligent woman but a single parent… he offered no defence, said he was too drunk to remember… so in effect didn’t deny it?? It was said in court that she ‘dressed provocatively’ yet in my eyes she wore what we all wore… jeans and a shirt?? Traces of his DNA were found on her clothes and in her hair but other DNA was also found on her clothing,(she had, though, held a friend’s baby earlier on that day?? And we all do the air kissing thing on greeting) It was implied that this DNA might have been from ‘other men’ and that she was flirting at the party… haven’t we all flirted at parties???? Anyway the outcome was he got off and to me this says that any drunken person, male or female, who falls asleep in someone’s bedroom at a party is just not safe from rape, and that he is a particularly dangerous young man, as he couldn’t remember, he could well do the same thing again after drinking?? She has since left England and hopefully is getting over it?? I am still angry… maybe writing this will assuage some of that anger at our justice system…maybe?? Maybe it just colours my view of the world …and of the British justice system… so I will go see Banksy’s new statue and read the words he has written on it…TRUST NO-ONE


Oddly when I checked the webstats on this site I see that someone arrived at my site through putting ‘banksy clerkenwell’ in a search engine… !

It's got to the point where there's almost too much to write about so I don't know where to start...

headed off to Cambridge last wednesday, having borrowed my brother's car, so had that lovely sense of freedom that having your own motorised transport brings... the weather was glorious it seemed that finally summer had arrived... I'm struggling though with the state of my flat as it really is horrible... filthy, broken furniture, doors with holes in... probably the worst flat I have ever been in .. and it's mine!! I am horrified and know it will be a massive task to get it back in shape...

anyway.. headed off to Cherry Hinton the site of the festival...put up the tents and had to head back into town for an interview with an agency... the reality of returning to Cambridge is becoming more apparent as each day passes and I still haven't really come to terms with it....

Thursday evening and I had a date with a chap from Guardian Soulmates... it had seemed like a good idea earlier on in the week but actually it was a disaster... I was enjoying being with J & J and then saw this chap that, sort of, matched his photo but, well, he obviously is massively photogenic! I nearly hid but realised that that was just too cowardly so went and introduced myself..hmmmm sometimes you just know immediately that things are a bad idea and this was one of those times... I made a feeble excuse and departed for the company of my sons.... they were really good company all weekend... funny... sweet and quite caring!!! I was really very proud of them which is a lovely, lovely thing to be able to say... Neela and Michael arrived the next morning and we found a spot for all three tents.. Sacha and Mia seemed to settle in well to festival life... the music was fairly much in the background.. I made one foray into the main stage to see Loudan Wainwright, mainly because I had seen him 31 years ago and it seemed approprite to see him again... trouble was though, my music tastes have changed a bit since then and his songs hadn't, so I just heard one song and headed away... it was a really sociable festival...the sun shone all weekend!! Sunday night we all drank a little too much but it was friendly and happy.. the people with deckchairs and territorial issues seemed to have faded into the background and we all said we would return next year!!!!

Laughed lots Saturday! Spent the afternoon dressed as a chicken and created a slight disturbance outside Sainsbury's... it was actually hilarious .... we (Greenpeace) were simply drawing people's attention to Sainsbury's non-GM-feed milk but a security guard panicked a bit and called the police... it was the closest I have ever come to being arrested and I found it all amusing rather than scary! The day was really warm and the chicken suit a little uncomfortable so I was quite happy to stop after an hour and head into New Cross where Carla lives for herbal tea and conversation... I was absolutely knackered after a late night drinking with my brother and had been up early to drive back to get to Greenwich on time.....

The evening was spent in delightful company of some Greenpeace people that had been on the MV Esperanza... food was delicious and it was a lovely evening...

and yesterday...

another Graham gig!!!! Sarah had won tickets so we went to the Islington Academy which is a very small venue headed towards the stage and waited for Graham... it was a blinding gig! His guitar work is so versatile... he seemd to go through a whole gamut of genres from 70's rock to punk to blue grass.... he also played much from Happiness in Magazines... some of his older stuff.. he was really very very very good

It's Friday afternoon and I haven't got much work to do. so what do I end up doing, apart from some Greenpeace cyberactivity, .... ended up on the quizzilla pages again.. this time absurdly looking at which film I should be in...




Fight Club!


What movie Do you Belong in?(many different outcomes!)
brought to you by Quizilla

bugger! my bike was stolen yesterday!! Very sad as I have had it years and fallen off it loads... it had become like a member of the family, it had it's faults but you accepted that and loved it just the same..... and now it's gone!!! It will probably be taken to pieces... the tyres and hubs were special, nice purple spokes!!!!... the brake system bled all the time but as an early hydraulic system it was excellent... though the quick release led to a couple of permament scars when it came loose and caught between the spokes...ahhhhhh fond (?) memories indeed, Jake coming to rescue me as my head was thoroughly bashed! Falling down some stairs on the day I bought it as I was a little too ambitious .... learning stoppies with Arthur and Lizzie... coming back from Bethnal Green and not being able to find the Rotherhithe tunnel... it had disappeared that night I'm sure!! ahhhhhhhh my bike! Thanks Josh for getting it... one of the best birthday presents ever! ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my bike! Goodbye......... my bike

a bit of my past rushed back at me last night!! Sitting in the Mayflower with Sarah and there were people with garish t-shirts, drinking copiuous amounts of beer, wearing trainers and occassionally the word 'hashing' would float across the bar.... We had arrived a bit earlier and were astounded at how full the pub was and the oddly colourful clothing worn by the customers, most of whom seemed American, very American... we sidled away to the bar at the front of the pub, but were admittedly curious... so after a drink and when the other bar had emptied a little we headed back to satisfy the curiosity....after hearing the word Hashing I was reminded of the Hare and Hounds Hash House Harriers that I ran with a few times. This group ran in the Bedfordshire countryside, I had even set one of the routes but had not really got that involved... all got a bit awkward with one of the runners so I stopped going.... but I remember it as an amusing way to spend an evening... the people in the Mayflower, though, were taking the drinking very very seriously indeed! so of course we joined in......they are members of the west london group and run regularly....and why so many Americans?? Apparently it's an international hashing thing going on?? ....Sarah is very keen to join.. I would be apart from the fact that it does involve running! I'm not big on that...    get out of breath very quickly and my face turns lobster pink... not a good look!

Odd week.......went out Monday night initially for an after work drink then headed for the 12 bar club ...saw Paul the Girl do  a very accomplished set.... then wasn't really impressed with the next bloke and can't actually remember his name... he had something to do with Captain Beefheart.... evening then turned a little odd ..... something to do with different memories of a shared event...?
 
Wednesday saw me waiting outside Foyles for Sarah, trouble was she was waiting outside Waterstones....unfortunately I didn't have my phone......we were going to see the new Michael Moore film but ended up not meeting at all!! the positive thing out of it was that I bought a good book...... 'a million little pieces' by James Frey... a compulsive read, one of those books that is difficult to put down , so I have been walking whilst reading, cooking whilst reading, waking up at 4. 00am and picking up the book and continuing.... it is about a man's experience of rehab... but it's a fascinating insight into the world of addiction, compulsive behaviour and human dignity...It was only last night though that I realised it was not fiction..... that shocked me a bit. I mean the bit about the root canals was actually expereinced in reality???!!!!!!!!! ahhhhhhhhhhh sends all sorts of horrible shivers everywhere, in fact it might have been difficult to read that section knowing it was true....
 
Last night met up with Neela in Farringdon, after work... lovely to see you N! and am really looking forward to the Cambridge Folk Festival in a couple of weeks time.. we had an solidly good bit of food in a fish restaurant and drank perhaps slightly too much wine but hey! Compared to James Frey I am a long way from rehab........ the one t-shirt I bought at Glastonbury was a black one with the words 'Rehab is for quitters'........ I liked it because it is soooooo true It so obviously is!
 
weekend is looking promising, Hannah is over tonight and  maybe go to Shoreditch Saturday night

Somtimes, something that has always previously seemed thoroughly impossible can suddenly be presented as possible! It happened yesterday as I was working on a Greenpeace boat, The Esperanza, for an open day. The work was easy, it was a matter of talking to people about Greenpeace and particular campaigns, giving some directions around the boat and generally being helpful. This day, in itself, was wonderful as I had never really imagined I would go on board a Greenpeace boat and here I was working on it and talking to the crew, getting an insider's view... it was splendid!!! But as the day drew to a close and after the debriefing session and beer people started heading off... i too picked up my backpack and was pondering the possibility of which tube to get home when Penny one of the crew said they were having a few more beers up in the lounge and would anyone like to join them... ended up with two other volunteers and some of the crew sitting drinking beer, listening to discussions about being sprayed off the side of trawlers, how to cope if a trawler comes full speed towards you and you are swimming in the sea, being threatened by Italian captains, the sight of storm petrels zipping the tops of waves, dolphins that recognise the rainbow on the side of the boat....magic indeed!!!! and it seems it could all be possible!!!! the dream and listening to others talk could, with a bit of effort, become my reality and my conversation!! I need to be proactive and this is something worth being proactive about!!!!!!!!!

Another sight on my walk to work.... and this made me laugh and is in keeping with the surfer theme of the posts today was a new shop opened up next to Cafe 1001 in the little brewery passage.... the window is full of garishly painted surf boards!!!! a surf shop in Brick Lane!!!!!!!!!!!!! Where more suitable ......so close to the beach!!!??

Odd what we do to our children...... we want them to have better and more fulfilling lives but also if we had an excellent childhood then we like to try to replicate some of this for them..... giving security, opportunity, love, acceptance.... saw an odd sight today that made me ponder..... there must be a little private school tucked away somewhere off Worship Street as I often see very little children dressed in the type of school uniform that was becoming old fashioned when I was at school.... caps and blazers, stripey summer dresses and boaters!!! This morning in front of me was a little boy straight out of Enid Blyton in the 1950's!!! Grey socks,longish baggy navy blue shorts, blazer slightly short on the arms and a cap that barely fitted over his short back and sides. He was walking hand-in-hand with , I presume, his father. This man was wearing dirty jeans, scruffily creased, a loose long sleeved t-shirt, with a tan and the casual air of a classic cool surfer dude.. they just did not match and it seemed odd that an adult so relaxed would dress his child in so regulated a fashion... is he providing something to rebel against.. is that what he looked like aged 5 and he is giving his child all the 'benefits' he had??? hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm seems things have got somewhat reversed from when I was at school and it was the parents who looked old and stuffy....

Post-Glasto sleeping sickness is finally over. I feel alive again and wide awake!! Though certainly didn't Friday night as Sarah and I met up for drinks at The Foundry and went on to 93 feet east... sadly all I could do was sit in a comfortable sofa and watch people.... there was a band playing, a film, Jubilee, and I just wasn't up to any of it!!!!

Went to Cambridge Saturday and oddly ended the evening in a gay pub lock in.... drinking shooters and odd stuff........ almost adopted a new son..... had a wonderful time!!!

Always feel somewhat bereft leaving the boys and returning to London though, and that is the mood today, feel it's all very superficial here.........! Need to find a more substantial job....

Sarah is off pole dancing tonight!!!! Has signed up for a course!!!!!

This is my 200th posting!! Which actually, considering I have been writing this since Oct 2002 really doesn't seem that many.......

Heading Shoreditch way tonight for drinks and food....... to celebrate stuff with Sarah.. t'wil be good....... last night ended up having a few after-work drinks as the Godlike one is leaving to go to the US to work for Ralph Lauren....it was all getting a bit raucous when I sidled away mid evening... am I becoming a lightweight??? or is it post-Glasto sleeping sickness???

Still can't work out how I feel about coming back to London.. it is odd when you go away and eventually you look forward to getting 'home'.... but coming back to London just didn't feel like coming 'home' it feels like an extension of being away??? Where is home, what is this thing that gives a sense of belonging?? Is it familiarity within the environment... an increasing recognition of places the closer you get to home.. or the initmate knowledge of a place? knowing all its alley-ways and back streets, of shortcuts and splendid vista's... or is it more a feeling? a place you feel safe? a place you feel warm? Still have to find my home I guess.... then I might know the answers???????

Realise that recently I have just written bare details and missed so much out from before Glastonbury.. didn't mention going to Goldsmiths to see the degree exhibition .... amazed that painting seems to be making a bit of a comeback and the textile work was probably the most fascinating area .....have been exploring more and discovered the London Stone in Canon Street which actually felt a bit like seeing Avebury or Stonehenge... something from such a distant past that its mere survival seems remarkable... it is behind glass for protection... which is sensible as I would have touched it had it been possible and as it is porous rock it would have been worn away over the years from everyone else doing the same.... now why is there the need to reach out????..... hmmmmmm

Where to start!!?? A magical weekend indeed! Mud and magic with sunshine thrown in as well!! Back at work today and desperately looking for a different job.... there was a moment on Sunday night when I was sitting in a group of lovely people, we had worked together on the wall and then wandered off to listen to good music, returned to The Greenpeace campfire to drink wine and cider... it was a lovely atmosphere late at night when someone asked what I did.. I replied 'I am a PA for a fashion company in central London'..... my reply seemed to me to be so incongruous that I totally realised how unsuitable it is for me to be doing it at all!!!! The work on the climbing wall wasn't like work at all, yes it was physically tiring but it was so enjoyable that that didn't matter... It became quite frustrating when it rained as we had to stop work as I wanted to continue!!!!

will write more later suffice to say I am still aglow with it all !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Very glasto-centred!! which is difficult at work as it has been utterly hectic -one of the major fashion shows, Pitti Uomo, starts this week in Florence so all the collection has to be ready or should I say had to be ready for 3.30 today... boss and a couple of minions have now gone... hopefully I have done the travel arrangements ok... generally I never hear how smoothly it all goes so I just have to presume everything went all right... I would certainly hear about it if I have booked the wrong flight!!! or Hotel!!! My travel arrangements have been completely traumatic!! Thought I was getting a lift from web designer W but he crashed his car!! hmmmmmmm not a good sign!! so I thought I would get a bus... all buses are now booked..... left getting a train as a final option and god what a struggle that was to get a ticket!!!! but tomorrow I leave from Paddington with a ton of warm and waterproof stuff!! Slightly apprehensive in that I'm doing a festival alone.... but working it should be quite a different experience...... and I do get lots of time off.... and free food!!! ahhhhhhh must buy a disposable camera anyway this is just ramblings.... nothing to say much today... still feel ill... but also excited... looking forward to just being there, sitting by my tent and watching people, not even that bothered about seeing any bands at all..... being a bit wistful....

I'm really going!!!!!!!!! Got my ticket last night!!!!!!!!!!!! Now have to buy stuff like waterproofing spray, an extra groundsheet, waterproof trousers and maybe a petzl. I have always wanted a petzl but never justified the expense as I have always owned a torch, well its something one does really........ but now seeing as I have minimum possessions here in London and a torch is not one of them I can finally, after 20 years, justify the purchase of a petzl!!!!!!!!!!

It must be hot!! wearing a skirt!!!! quite funny really the difference it makes... I feel almost girly!!! though obviously not wearing accompanying heels!!!!

8 days!!!! and I'll be there.... might even have got a lift which would make an incredible difference!!! could then take my trangia and a few extra items of clothing........ getting really excited and quite bouyant at the thought! will see if I can get a new tent too...of course while I'm there will have to see if I can find an internet site and give a few updates.... might be one way of remembering all that happens... feel the need to write a list!!!

8 days!!!

even have the pleasure of bob prior to Glastonbury....!!!

and the sun is shining !!!

and I wrote a supporting statement for my Masters application yesterday so tonight I fill in the form and see what happens!!!!

8 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rode my bicycle to work this morning in the rain singing 'Bittersweet bundle of misery' very happily!!! The Graham Coxon gig on Tuesday at the Electric Ballroom was very enjoyable indeed!!!! Got to Camden about 8, well wouldn't want to queue!!! and headed first for the bar and then squeezed into what at first appeared a tiny room. Realised that people were crowding around the entrance and it was actually quite easy to wend a beery way more or less to the front. First band that were on I must admit I didn't catch their name and well didn't really try to find out..... young, brash, polished and loud... Then there was a bit of a wait for Graham, in fact he nearly pushed the boundaries of welcome a little too far....and some were becoming slightly impatient! But he made a blinding start when he finally arrived on stage, dressed in what looked like a pair of slacks????? Quite a few numbers were from previous albums but he did all the favourites from the new Happiness in Magazines too... a bit odd to hear The Bottom Bunk really as it is about having a wank and there he was singing about it to hundreds of people... a little odd as he seems such a shy, even bashful, chap when talking between songs.... in fact he has the voice of a timid 6 year old until he starts singing! The odd thing about the gig though was the static nature of the audience... directly in front of us were the tiniest Japanese girls imaginable, maybe a hangover from pre-solo days?? anyway they just stood still not even a little swaying movement, not a tapping of toes just nothing going on!! The music though called for more!!! Sarah and I both started jumping around and very soon others behind joined in and well it almost became a bit of a moshpit thing which is what the music deserved!!! A very very good gig and I forgot all about my earlier comparison with Billy Childish as Graham certainly became his own man!!!!! and I'm still singing along with him now!!!

Jake and Angel made a surprise visit at the weekend which was lovely though had to change a few plans and missed a gig... but dragged them along to see Billy Childish at the Barbican as after hearing so much about him he could not be missed!!! and he was all and more!! a good name to have on the inside of your tent indeed!!!! definitely unforgetable......... he did one number called 'The Bitter Cup' that left not tingles but pure electricity running around the spine!!!!!

Had to make a surpise visit to Cambridge yesterday...... lovely moment when leaving where both boys were waving farewell and Josh ran alongside the train as it departed right to the end of the platform...... had the whole carriage laughing!!!

a tough week! Probably why I haven't written much.... just a whole pile of stuff cracking up around me, a bit like being at a Vines gig... you get there all excited looking forward to what you thought was a good band and end up disappointed....so it's all gone a bit flat.... I remember writing ages ago, whilst still in Cambridge about times when the grey blanket hits and whichever way you look at the world it's grey... well its a bit like that.... the grey blanket is back, over my head and colouring the world.......

so my answer last weekend was to go out and get slaughtered... or even on monday to stay in and do the same..... actually enjoyed last weekend.... went to the Barbican to see some free blues ... first up was son of dave a Canadian previously in Crash Test Dummies.... he was a one man play all type and very good at it too!!! Met him afterwards and he was one of those performers that comes across in person as incredibly shy, yet on stage is twice the size..... final band of the afternoon was Errol Linton's Blues Vibe ........by then I was partygurl!!!! wandered up to The Foundry... sat outside admiring the Banksy.... and trundled willingly to Cargo where we sauntered past the queue and were admitted.... thanks to Joe who was on the guestlist.... Errol was playing again...... by this time I was beyond partygurl.... at some point discovered I had to leave, auto pilot kicking in mayhaps??? but ended up going for the ubiquitous Indian of which I ate very very little. called for a cab, something I still find deliciously decadent, and found myself at homeand happy!!! Soooooo that was Saturday.... sunday was quiet!!! but had a gig to go to in the evening. Ash were very very good.... and after The Vines a relief!!!! Very bouncy, very loud...

Monday just doesn't count,talked drank wine, cooked drank wine, talked drank wine, talked drank vodka, only amazed that the absinthe remained untouched... struggled with Tuesday... work dire... finances crashing around me... don't know where to turn... Josh not working again...and now it's the weekend... going to a gig at The Barbican.......

couldn't resist this one!

You're GI Joe with the Kung Fu Grip!! You're
strong, tough, and know how to kick some ass.
Don't forget though, no matter how manly you
think you are, you're still just a doll. God
Bless America.


What childhood toy from the 80s are you?
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hmmmmmmmmmmm much has happened, much has not...... gigs this weekend were all very good indeed.. will write more later.....

This is for all those that like to be in control

27 days to go!!!!!!!!!! and I will be at Glastonbury!!!!!!!!!!! happy happy happy so happy I have been singing all morning!!!

Definitely living on a film set!! Yesterday as I turned off Brick Lane past Cafe 1001 one of the normally scruffy tables had had a make-over!! There was a lovely tablecloth, silver cutlery and the deepest darkest red roses in a little cutglass vase!!! hmmmmmmmm and then the camera crew emerged from the background...... but it gets worse- this morning in my street in Rotherhithe there were vast pantechnicons... lots of fervent activity... a refreshment table.. screens ..camera's...crew......filming again!

even last night! went to the Hammersmith Apollo armed with free tickets to see Ross Noble... turned out it was a BBC recording of Live at the Apollo hosted by Jack Dee... they made two shows.... first up was the little chap from Father Ted...... Ardal O'Hanlan (sp?)who wasn't bad........ but by the interval I was coming to the conclusion that having humour thrown at you at a rate of knots was actually quite tiring, that laughter (like sympathy)is a finite thing!! and then Ross Noble came on............. anarchic, stupendous uberfantasy not just thrown at you but hurled pinging off the walls, I have never laughed so much at the thought of Jesus curing lepers, invisible turtles, soft slippy mocassins, and blokes in garages!!!!!!!!! I cried! He was sooooooooo funny just soooooo funny and then I looked around at friends, all three of them..... with little bemused smiles.......they didn't get it!!!!!!?? dead odd... funniest thing I have seen in years, absolutely years

Good weekend..... got stuff done, had people call round and had dinner round a friends too..... very sociable indeed!

Having a conversation with a friend that climbs, well he likes to climb but has a really painful elbow, has been to the doctor and it turns out it is Tennis Elbow and he has just got to rest it... so we were trying to think of some sport he could do with just one arm. Obviously climbing is out, so is windsurfing, even riding a bicycle goes against Doctors orders! Stupidly we realised there is one obvious one. Tennis!!!!!!!!!!

Heard Graham Coxon's new album Happiness in magazines last night and luckily having just met Dave our new neighbour who assured me he liked our music and was happy to listen to it.. we turned the sound up very loud and discovered a rather splendid album! a little anthemic, can imagine singing along at a gig! bittersweet the new single being decidely one of the best tracks, though Hopeless friend was utterly brilliant in its simplicity... looking forward to the gig.... Saw him at the shelter gig in December (see posting 15.12.03) and he was one of the better acts... that was an excellent intro to what is happening now.. apart from Mary toplessbird who I haven't heard mention of since...

Days like today make me think of the ski club....... it is a very pleasantly warm day and I would love to be on the water! Just thinking of that rainbow arc that comes off the spray.. the pull of the boat as you come out of the water, the pure pure pleasure as you lean away and glide across a flat lake........ ahhhhhhhhh !

There were many gigs in London over the weekend and sadly I went to see The Vines at Brixton... have actually quite enjoyed their second CD so was quite looking forward to a bit of flippyhippy-with-edge sort of stuff but!!!!!!!!!!! They started well, it was loud and agressive, the moshpit flailing and all seemed well... but they just lost it! It is quite unusual to actually see a band die on stage but that is what happened, it just became......... pointless....... Craig thingy threw his guitar down at one point.. why?? was it because he was just trying to provide a formulaic bad boy persona and that's what bad boys of rock do????? By the middle of the gig I was looking around at the audience which was far more interesting than watching the band!! I hear that both Bad Religion and Throbbing Gristle had awesome gigs on Saturday and Sunday ....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm!

Just had a look at a site called the political compass which has a little test to see where you sit within the political spectrum... ok so I had a fairly good idea prior to taking the test.... but it is interesting as it adds a social element to the process......... so where are you?

love the thought that Delilah is being read in Japanese!!!!!!!

Reading The Good Women of China at the moment and although it is well written with some very graceful touches it nevertheless is concerned with stories of unremitting brutality and I am struggling with it all. This morning all over the tube are pictures of an execution and the rhetoric of war seems to be screaming louder and escalating along with the violence and disregard for human dignity..... last night went to see Eternal sunshine of a spotless mind and still can't decide whether it was saying there is such a thing as absolute love or whether it was actually saying that at best all we can hope for is a crappy mis-matched relationship that maybe has some good bits in it!!!?????

Woke up Saturday morning and spent most of the day with Tara, until Jake and Angel arrived around 4ish. Went to meet them in Kings Cross and we wandered around Covent Garden as Jake was in search of crappy sunglasses..... he found some and we headed to Shoreditch. Thought it made sense to take them somewhere I know and so we had a beer in Cafe 1001....It was lovely to see them....... just nice to spend a bit of time with Jake. Sunday we had lunch in Wapping and then wandered around Camden... bumped into a friend or two, drank wine- much too much... sat in The Elephants Head and got wobbly.....wobbled home... a very happy woman

it's a coke and kit kat morning!! Need vast intake of chemicals and fluids as I am very very fuzzy, the coke will bring the edges back into focus I hope!!! Obvious from this that the weekend was stuffed full of alcohol which it was but it was also lots of fun, very sociable and very friendly. One problem with drinking far too much is that the memory of it is somewhat fragmentary.... a jigsaw puzzle of a weekend with a few missing pieces... but a bright and colourful jigsaw puzzle nevertheless... soooo ahhhhhhhhhh yes Friday!! ........... hmmmmmmmmmmmm what to say...... !? Checked my bank account in the morning god knows why but I am so pleased I did.... you know those moments when something has been stolen and you look in the direction of where you parked your car or your bicycle and you can almost see its shape but you can also see through it and then it slowly dawns on you that it's not actually there... it was a bit like that... there were transactions that I knew I didn't recognise but I was sort of racking my brain to remember when I spent £230 on clothing in one swift and single move!? So in total nearly £500 had just disappeared!!!!! Not a good day!!!!! Got my card cancelled obviously and the bank were pretty good but I am cardless for a week which is inconvenient to say the least...soooooo I felt the need to drink beer!! met up with Andy after work in Cafe 1001 and he was happy to join me in my new found lager loutedness!! we drank lots of beer, well lots for me anyway... went to 93 Feet East, had food and an excellent time! Excellent indeed!!!

Friday night was Von Bondie's night!!!!!!! Good gig at The Astoria!!! Nearly missed it though, at one point in the early evening I was sitting with Josh having an excellent glass of red wine in The Cow in Cambridge, Jake was working but able to come and talk every so often and it was lovely to be with my boys... The Astoria seemed like a million miles away and it seemed like too much effort was required to get there........ but I had my ticket, Sarah was expecting a gig buddy and I do like live music, so was able to resist the pull of Colin Fry tickets at the corn exchange! got on the bus, then the train and headed back into London. As I was making my way from Kings Cross to Tottenham Court Road I realised I really really like the buzz that is London, the frenetic activity, the pace that people walk, the bustle.... it is contagious.. I felt buzzy by the time I got to The Astoria, arrived just as the Von Bondie's walked on stage and did a thoroughly sound gig!

Saturday was Scissor Sisters Day!!!! Whoooo Whoooo! and similar sort of stuff!!!!! Sarah and I went to Canary Wharf by boat, I do so love doing my shopping by boat! bought good food... came back prepared good food (Asparagus and poached eggs, with shaved Parmesan sort of stuff!) opened wine did a disco thing with the music getting progressively louder the more wine we consumed!!! Put loads of make up on and glitter -loads of glitter!!!!!! and headed off to Brixton!!!! Went initially to the gay bar, which was packed! Then to the academy unusually early for us!! Scissor Sisters were excellent, the whole atmosphere was buzzy, very very gay! and they saved filthy /gorgeous until the end!!! Struggled to find a cab home and then things get a little blurred around the edges??? Sarah had a long conversation with Fabian?? So did I, apparently??? hmmmmmmmmmmmm I wonder what I said???? but hopefully he was probably in a similar head state and wont remember either........!

It's Tuesday already, now that's how I like a working week to start! Arrived here so demotivated its unbelievable, plus sore throat, coughs, sneezes and snuffles, feel like hiding under a duvet rather than be here but oddly was on automatic pilot this morning.....so oddly I am here

The weekend!!!!!!!! First made a flying visit to Cambridge... signed lots of forms........ I'm starting to believe this whole property purchasing thing could possibly happen......! Also and very very importantly handed in an advance booking form for a Cambridge Folk Festival ticket soooooo will have Cherry Hinton camping ticket........The festival is just not the same without it! This year it all seemed particularly pricey... very similar cost to Glastonbury but if you compare the bands at both there's no competition, the cost must be more to do with having flushing toilets and regulated camping areas... so you know no-one will camp their tent on top of yours!! and you know that even on the monday the loo's will not be the hideous icecream cones that G is so famous for.....mmmmmm still want to go to Glastonbury though!?

Just seen on the Scissor Sisters site that they are doing Glastonbury!!

just did it again.. well I'm in a very different mood today....

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!

Now that's more like it, definitely reflects today's mood entirely!

The little description reads......."May barbarians invade your personal space!" You are highly confrontational and possibly in a bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz, if I had made it an option.

Can't resist....and I should know better as last year I discovered that I was Martin Heidegger (see posting for 28/11/03) which was totally unsettling... now I have just discovered my own personal Latin phrase which is.....



Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sometimes the walk to work from Shoreditch is blatantly odd... the other morning, maybe about two weeks ago while I was happily walking through Bunhills I noticed a group of what I supposed to be students lingering around John Bunyan's Tomb, just as I walked past they started singing, not just mumbly, head down pretend I'm not here singing but full voiced singing, there were harmonies and delightful voices in that throng or should I say choir!! The song... was the hymn with the line 'to be a pilgrim' in it which I guess had rather a lot to do with Bunyan as his famous work was 'Pilgrims Progress'.... anyone know if it was an anniversary or something????

Then last week I was walking in the Shoreditch direction and a man walked past in the opposite direction, he looked fine but his shirt was totally covered in blood, yet he didn't seem bothered by this at all. I carried on walking and around the corner met the sight of a man with a completely battered face, it was horrible, bloody and very very messy, trouble was he was laughing and joking and having a fag!! Then I spotted in the distance a very large truck and film crew .... so didn't have to practice any first aid!

Last night, again on my way home a very polite young man asked me to stop as a fire engine was just about to pull out of a building???? It did, swerving out of a very tight space and sped off, lights flashing..... but oddly quiet... the siren was not on??? Then once again I spotted a camera, I guess the sound will be added at a later date..... there is an air of unreality about these streets....

Sunday got up early, the sun was shining and I felt bouncy! Managed to walk to the tube without crying( see earlier posting!)!! Headed off to Oxford again!!!! Had a lovely, lovely day in the sunshine !!! Lovely lunch in a lovely country pub called The Fox, in the lovely Boar's Hill, and then spent a lovely afternoon deep in conversation whilst lounging in a meadow surrounded by trees, birdsong and blue sky! Lovely! Later hobbled home from the tube with a smile on my face!

Had a good weekend too! Friday night had drinks with Mark and Tara and some of their friends... very pleasant indeed.. only trouble was i had worn an old and very much loved favourite pair of sandals...... by The Art Company and they are gorgeous! But but but!! crippling! and these are flat and very wide sensible shoes!!! Tara and I walked from Bishopsgate to St Pauls, not far normally but in these sandals it seemed like miles of pure agony! ended up walking home barefoot ! Sooo many blisters it was stupid! and Saturday was painful! Went nowhere and walked very little!! and I so loved the sandals and never had any problem before, have my feet expanded over this winter??????????? how to lose weight on the feet??? any particular diets that take inches off the foot???

Gmail! Not too woried about the privacy aspect of the new google mail system, well after all I do write a blog about me that is publicly available! so I signed up for it a few days ago mainly because I have to use online email as my computer was left in Cambridge.

Recently I have tried out:

hotmail - too much spam,
ntl - spam and a time-out factor which is really irritating if you are writing a long email as a little message comes up when you click on SEND to say 'you have timed out of this session'!! and your long email has disappeared into internet ether never to be seen again!
Tiscali - time out factor!

So I thought I'd give Gmail a go... nearly gave up in the first few minutes as the contacts list was extremely clumsy... it wouldn't save changes or new input... but persevered and am really liking it! The inbox is much more than an inbox as it saves all sent and received mail that share the subject heading, this is really convenient and so far no spam (though it is early days) and it doesn't time out... so I can leave it open all day and even the contacts list seems to have lost it's initial annoying glitches! Gets my vote so far! Think that this is also my first 'techie' posting!!!! arrrhhhh! am I becoming geek-like!?!

Saw an article of clothing last night that made me laugh!! Walking down Brick Lane and past a clothing shop there was the ubiquitous Che Guevara image but this time it wasn't on a t-shirt nor even splattered all over a dress, and dresses are sooooo in this season!! No Che's face was on a............... Baby's bib!! It was pink and very very cute!! a real must have for all Guardian reading new parents!!! Just imaging them sitting with appropriate cute child in organic-non-smoking pub and child wears baby ug boots and che bib!! a total image!!!

Pinkbells!!! Has anyone ever seen pinkbells before????.... I'm talking flowers here!! I mean Endymion's which are normally and obviously (!) blue but in Bunhills cemetery there are a few pink ones!! I know this is the time of the Barbie Generation but are even the flowers changing??? Maybe it is something to do with the composition of the soil?? Well it has been a burial ground since Anglo-Saxon times so I imagine there's lots of calcium!!!! Could that have an effect on the colour much the same as hydrangea's or is it rhododendrons??? and have I spelt those anywhere near correctly???

so the spitting continues!! and I still am amazed that it goes on and nobody else seems to notice!? maybe I am becoming 'disgruntled from Rotherhithe' but have you ever thought what the pavements would look like if there were no smokers, gum chewers and spitters!!! and that's not mentioning the litter!!

Read Lovely Bones this week.........! My god not a book to start reading on the tube........ I had to struggle to fight back the tears!! a struggle I lost.... fascinating book because of its perspective, that of the murdered girl... and whereas it looks at the story of a murder and looks like it could be a tale of the murder hunt in reality it is a fascinating exploration of the living... how different people deal with death and grief.... a good book!

Had a long weekend and am much calmer and more philosophical!! Last week's rant is now out of my system and I can be a rational being again, well as rational as I ever will be!!! P can get on with it. If he feels the need to steal my blog's name there's little I can do about it and well -imitation is a form of flattery is it not and after all what is in a name???

Onwards and upwards......... the weekend was decidedly split into two.. first half very home centred, seriously considering a move back to Cambridge as I am in need of a 'home' a real home, somewhere I can sand the floorboards if I feel the desire or put up loads of pictures..... just somewhere where I can be me........ and be surrounded by my stuff.. so have broached the subject with J & J and suggested that maybe they start thinking about what they want to do.....

Sunday went out to the marina and spent time with Tara on her boat, now this was another possibility for providing a home as Tara is selling her boat .... but but but it is the size of a small caravan though more appealing!!... having spent last year considering and looking forward to moving into a 70ft boat with high ceilings and vast possiblities.. it just seemed a tad small ! So I think that idea is shelved, though of course it does have moorings!!! and actually would be great for spending weekends on in the summer months....

Tara, Mark and I then headed off to HMS President, which is moored near Blackfriars Bridge on the north bank... now that is a sizable boat, or ship as the Captain kept reminding me later!!! Definitely a nautical theme to this posting!! Fabian was playing in a band with Pete, George Breakfast and two girl singers..... but what was eminently much more watchable was the audience... this event was an opening for an art exhibition being held on the boat and two of the artists were Russian and so most of the gathered crowd were Russians.... they certainly know how to party!! and dance and ummmm take over the microphone!!! A very funny but odd evening indeed...

Horace might be doing the Glastonbury thing again so will probably get tickets after all! And Pete and George B will be at the CFF, in the Club tent so that should be good too!

Monday morning was another day off, which is utterly lovely... so I got up rather hastily and full of a stonking hangover headed off for a date in Oxford..... and this time the conversation flowed, gushed and burbled its way over a day filled with laughter, sunshine and fresh green countryside and a lovely discovery of commanalities! I met a man! and now I have the answer to the question about when should a new chap read your blog.. it's dead simple, if he is an intelligent non-judgemental lovely human being then he can read it whenever, as it just doesn't matter!

Blogs and relationships.......!! I have mentioned this before but I think it needs more exploration... The other Sunday I was on a udate date....... sort of unexciting and fairly mundane, and as he was pretty geeky the conversation turned towards computers. I mentioned having a blog, but when he asked for its name I couldn't face telling him, well it's a bit like saying here's my diary this is all about me, but not getting any reciprocal feedback. I still know nothing about him and he knows, or assumes he knows, a hell of a lot about me!! So when do you let them see it??? A bit like the old 'when to shag' question.... Recently in the very sweet early stages of a relationship, that admittedly didn't get any further than the very sweet early stages! Alan suddenly declared that he would no longer read my blog as he didn't want to read that he'd been dumped before it actually happened!! Hmmmmmmmm ha! Maybe that was a significant move Alan!!!

Sooooooo ............ I spent last summer in a relationship with Pete that was really quite controlling and manipulative, but what was particularly bad was his non-recognition of me, as a separate individual, he diminished me, denied my sense of self really and as I had put myself in a very vunerable position, ie moved in with him without any of my belongings, I struggled with what was actually happening. I could not believe I had made such a mistake, and so really tried to make it work and to ignore some of his not so wonderful facets of character.... like his racism......back to the blog aspect here, I did describe the ending of this relationship in this blog as 'a limp dwindling away' and he later told me that this upset him, somehow that changed how I felt about writing this as I didn't want to hurt him or anybody I know and care about, and so I have avoided emotional outpourings and mainly described the superficial stuff that is going on but....

I saw Pete recently as he called to say hello and he told me he had set up a blog of his own.... ok fair enough I thought, it's another way of him trying to communicate with me.. I don't have to read it.... but, of course, I have.........Its name is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unbelievable!! He has actually called it Pete's Palaver!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this makes me sooooooooooooo mad........... it's a further diminishing, a further way of control and taking away something that is mine and what makes it even worse is it is really really really shit!!!!! and by copying my name he takes away some of my individuality again!!!! and he can't write, he can't spell, and he even writes racist stuff!! and it is really CRAP! The man has no sense of empathy whatsoever.... He writes of Lizzie, his daughter, in such a matter of fact way that it blends in with what he is saying about the boat...!! Has he no soul???

So, to conclude, blogs and relationships are a minefield... but from now on no holds barred....... I will write what I feel and if it feels pertinent to write about it I will write about it...........

Cambridge Folk Festival line up announced..... Beth Orton, Divine Comedy, Jimmy Cliff, Loundan Wainwright, Acoustic Levellers and of course Horace X... looks pretty good

I have become dull!!! Saturday night was fucking fantastic!!!! Jake's body and no we are not talking my son here at all!!! was utterly gorgeous... I could gush at this point, I am going to join a fan club!!!! Bloke next to (and behind me) ((well at the front of a gig people's geographical position changes rapidly)) had a set of sparkly rabbit ear headbandy things, and a very good body too but that's beside the point... anyway in a moment of sheer exuberance he threw said ears on to the stage... all around gasped as Jake, the lead singer, at first trod on them then picked them up and wore them, more gasps and bloke with body sighed......... 'he's wearing my ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!' luscious moment!!! and I am now attempting a new record... to be seem bouncing away at the front of gigs... can imagine being in the background of various photo's and one day someone saying.. 'well just who is that old dear that boounces like a 17 year old but needs a zimmerframe at the end of the gig' and my moment of fame will be there.... that is all I desire.......... a moment of fame

The Scissor Sisters were awesome!!!! Such a pity Neela and Michael couldn't make it, Sarah invited two of her friends along but I had to abandon them as they had decided to go upstairs.... and the sound up there was really terrible, actually there were real problems with the sound and for a while Ana and Jake had to talk whilst improvements were being made but for the latter part of the show it was fine..... I went downstairs and weasled my way to the front, which is much easier to do on your own so had a fine view of the band....... bounced away and thoroughly enjoyed myself indeed!!!! Will certainly try to get to see them again soon!!

Double booked tonight but trying to squeeze both in....... Hannah's leaving do at The Vibe bar and then Sarah's birthday party... Tomorrow a gig and Sunday a day of rest! Looks like a good weekend ahead!

Didn't get a Glasto ticket after all........ but still have other plans for that weekend so all is not lost

Speaking of lost stuff...... any emails to my ntlworld address using my full name have been totally lost .... if you want to stay in touch please use the email link that's on this page... be good to hear from you

Will be getting Cambridge Folk Festival tickets this year so maybe meet up with the girls again then?????

more about the cemetery.. It is Bunhill's Cemetery and is a place for dissidents!!! It is actually unconsecrated ground!! Explains why there is no church next to it! and has been used as a burial place since Saxon times.... ideal resting spot. I wonder if they have any spaces.......?? well I would certainly hate to be amongst believers so burial is out for me and I had imagined cremation as the only option... now another possiblity!! Not that I am planning anything though!!! Of course!!! but well just in case... it's a thought.....

Spring has arrived although I am in a complete fug at the moment... Exacerbated by trying to sort out a mortgage with no spare money and being hounded on all sides by people/companies demanding money... it's all getting a bit much and I'm not good at dealing with bureaucracy (can't even spell it) at the best of times....

had a lovely phone call from old friend in Australia, James, and that has left me with a smile or three!! I have known him for a number of years now and have always been impressed by his eco terrorism but he's is much more mainstream now and working for the Green Party. Good on yer James!!!!! !!! maybe one day .... a visit???? mmmmmmmmmmmm

anyway reason for posting!! have been having a pleasant walk in to work from Shoreditch recently, having realised that the East London line is my favourite tube line. Always get a seat and there is always one within a few minutes of waiting! Sooo my walk has included a cemetery just off City Road which is a little oasis of calm and there are already grape Hyacinths and daisies galore! Squirrels are all over it too and it has been a nice couple of minutes of fresh air! Today I noticed a gravestone standing somewhat apart from others..... on it it says something like........ 'WILLIAM BLAKE'S remains lie nearby'!! and next to him there's a pointy columny thing naming Daniel Defoe's resting place and then in the background John Bunyan's tomb!!! Was quite surprised I had missed all this. makes me wonder what else I am unaware of when just walking past

Went to an excellent gig Tuesday!!! At the London Astoria, met Sarah in Tottenham Court Road and found a place to have a beer as the queue was ridiculously long... ended up missing The Others but arrived in time to hear Miss Black America... very young and not really very good at all.... all trying to be very punk but the lead singers hair was just a bit too sparkly and shiny Plus I had read they were from Bedford and somehow I couldn't get away from the idea that they looked so obviously like boys from Bedford Modern!! Anyway next was a band called something like 80's matchbox disaster and they were an odd mix of kiss meets duran duran on speed???? but none of that mattered as TheBuzzcocks were on next and they played an excelllent set! Sarah had disappeared off to the centre of the moshpit by this time and I was happily enjoying an occassional shout with a very cute American called Paul who totally looked like a native American with very long black hair!!Then The Libertines!! This time I knew their stuff and headed into moshpit territory myself, enjoying the physical contact on an empty stomach this time (I am Learning!!!!!) Then Mick Jones from The Clash came on and played with them!!! I very very very good gig indeed!!!

amusing tube map

so a change of plan. have cancelled udate! Just don't want to get on that whole disposable merry-go-round again........ and am reading Liquid Love by Zygmunt Bauman and find that he is describing my life!! and it's not good!! He is saying we have moved right away from love and relationships to connections and networks, both of which are easily broken and set up again in a new and novel way unlike love which is about bonds and commitment.... hmmmmm what I am looking for is the latter but I am searching within a medium that is solely to do with the former!! Ergo I am looking in the wrong place! Need to carry on with my artwork, to meet real people in real settings and have real conversations!!

also spent a lot of time on udate on sunday!! god does it just suck away time!! you go on and then hours later you emerge, time having entered a new zone of diminishing minutes and hours... anyway ended up chatting to three completely different individuals ... one a Cambridge chap, one a 32 yr old in Leicester and another a Bill Bailey lookalike in Wiltshire!!! one was intelligent, one was sporty and one was sweet... just what I need but I think I liked the whole combination!! and then there's the Kiwi who is in Afghanistan working with refugees!!!

A good weekend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! got thoroughly plastered friday!! but luckily the automatic homing device was switched on and woke up sat morning slightly confused but nonetheless at home, scarf neatly folded away and washing in the laundry... how does that happen!?! Went to The Prospect of Whitby a very nice pub in Wapping so luckily it was only one stop away on the tube!!!
Saturday a bit of a slow start but Sarah and I headed of into town to see 21 grams... bloody intense indeed!! quite a gripping film and very powerfully filmed... a sort of raw quality about it all!! Saw it in the Curzon which is an excellent cinema too, so had a swift beer afterwards in the bar and headed into Soho for food........... big mistake!! Had a really good Indian but then headed off to Brixton for the gig. Felt bloated couldn't drink more beer and didn't bounce well at all, so floated on the periphery of the mosh pit, enjoying the waves of movement but not up to full contact! Sarah of course was well in there!!!! The Libertines were eminently watchable and actually very bouncy!! Listened to the CD again on sunday and really enjoyed it, though must admit to overplaying Franz Ferdinand's latest!! Really really like that one!! Had a bit of a nostaglia moment on Sunday when left to my own devices and played some Del Amitri!! God that was depressing!!! but Franz restored my enormous sense of well being as did Blur a perennial favourite!!!

discovered an interesting place yesterday... just off Brick Lane.. thought it was a deli that did coffee that looked interesting at first but on going in yesterday realised it is a lot more and that upstairs is a candlelit, sofa's, bottles of wine, resident DJ sort of place.... very cool, Cafe 1001 The link's not brilliant but the only one I found that wasn't just going on about smoking illegal substances or in Portugese

The sun is shining and it has a really nice feel to the day!! Walked from Shoreditch station this morning rather than attempting the connection at Whitechapel and it was so much nicer! Had a little walk down some of Brick Lane, passed some interesting shops at the side of Spittalfields... it was pleasant!

and looking towards the weekend I have a date with a green transport man and a marine biologist!!! Have been lurking in the pages of udate, merely to quell the boredom of course, and well, might as well meet some new people! Last week I met Eric, an actor, hmmmmmm very very nice but he was looking for a woman to give him babies!! My god can you imagine just meeting someone when you are a teenager or early twenties, arranging a date and almost the first thing he mentions is the availability of your womb!!! You would have been astounded/shocked and somewhat put off! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh such is the experience of the post 35 (45!) dating thing!!!! So will not be seeing Eric again, I wish him good luck, sort of!

Another thought crossed my turgid little mind as I wandered aimlessly towards the tube this morning, probably why I am so often late as I haven't mastered the 'rushing about in a desperate hurry' look that is so prevalent in London... Anyway back to wandering along Rotherhithe St.... Suddenly realised that this time of year is when I start looking out for signs of spring, when those first green shoots start to appear, when birds sing extravagantly, when days get longer, you can tell here that spring is my favourite time of year. But but but I have never experienced spring in London, it was well underway when I arrived here last year and I am very concerned that I am going to miss it completely!!! There are a lot of shrubs, though mostly evergreen,on Rotherhithe St but a fair absence of green once I get off the tube at the Barbican....... hmmmmmmmm what to do??? Where to go???????????? I need a hit of new growth!!

so many thoughts today I don't know where to start ........... ahhhhhhhhhh I must apologise for yesterday's posting that suddenly and inexplicably was written in the style of Carrie Bradshaw, I really don't know why this happened and I promise faithfully (well as faithful as I can be!) that it will not happen again!! Now dear reader.......... Onwards with the thoughts of the day.......

Spitting! Now what is that about?? I remember years and years ago when I was a sweet innocent and naive 16 year old, well when I was 16 any way, I went on a little trip to Scotland to visit a boyfriend... First time traveling alone and it seemed such an adventure!! So there I was sitting in the top deck of a very grimy Glaswegian bus when I spied a sign that said 'No Spitting' now to my innocent mind what shocked me most was the thought that there must be so much spitting going on that the need to put a sign up was deemed necessary!! I had never thought about spitting in the street or worse on a bus nor had I ever noticed anyone ever doing it!!In fact I sort of wondered why? But moving on into the 21st century people, who are these people?, still spit........... It is obvious they do as you can see it and even sometimes hear it!! There is no excuse it is disgusting! Maybe not on a par with defecating or even vomiting in the street but still utterly unacceptable maybe we should start putting up signs again. You can imagine a little red circle with the appropriate line across, we are heavily into symbolism nowadays. Maybe there could be a Blue Peter competition to design a no spitting, no vomiting, no defecating sign!! Is Blue Peter still running??????????

Sitting on the tube this morning and pondering the ineffable when I started looking at shoes!! Odd how they really characterise someone.. but do they characterise more than the individual?? I was looking particularly at the high spikey heeled and pointy toed variety and wondering how anyone could actually want to wear them? At first I had two questions. initially simply;1) are they actually comfortable? and 2) What do they say about the person? But I realise that so many women wear pointy, spikey uncomfortable shoes that it is saying something more about our society than just an individual preference.... perhaps it is saying something about female sexuality too and how it is percieved and what is the norm? To me sex is all about something very natural, very much a part of everyday experience... and the shoes I wear reflect this..... they fit my feet, I can run in them... they match my body.... but pointy spikey dangerous shoes say something else about the perception of female sexuality.. they say something dark something painful something unnatural... What is our society about when for society to recognise a woman as attractive and for a woman to feel she looks attractive and sexy she has to wear something disabling, something uncomfortable, and something possibly even painful?? Weird indeed!

still rather deflated by it all... but I don't suppose it is possible to remain on a high buzzy plane all the time really, though this one is a bit too low for my liking..... Signed all the appropriate forms yesterday so the mortgage thingy is underway, feel I've forgotten something tho' or will be found out and told I can't do it....that I'm not allowed! hmmmmmmmmmmmm !

The weather has turned back to winter again and it's not a nice change... there are flowers around and surprisingly my Christmas tree has new needles emerging from the old..... they look a very very fresh green mmmmmmmmm alive indeed!

Monday morning and the mood is so diferent.. pondering a return to Cambridge as the finances are becoming scarily difficult to keep under control! But it wont be for probably 6 months or so, so will just have to see what happens. Maybe its something to do with the total realisation that the Pete thing is completely over and he, after all, was the sole reason I moved here in the first place... now that reason has gone I wonder why am I still here? and I can't actually come up with a sensible answer.... maybe I should look for a job in Cornwall instead? Who knows?

just can't stay away...... and now have no reason to not write any more......

It's been busy it's been dramatic it's been hectic! Just the last week I have seen 8 bands, one conceptual art exhibition and one film, and read two books....oh yes - got a good deal on a mortgage and have an interview for another job!!!!. Somehow managed to pack work around that lot too and going out to an exclusive bar tonight! Bugger life is amazing really!

Probably simplest just to do a list today........ will add comments thoughts and ponderings later

Bands: In order of apearance..... The Zutons, The Music, Cooper Temple Clause, Black Motorcycle Rebel Club, Franz Ferdinand, Von Bondies, The Rapture and finally Funeral for a Friend

Art: Yoko Ono Odyssey of a coakroach

Film: Elephant

Books: In Arcadia by Ben Okri, and a repeated reading of John McGregors If nobody speaks of remarkale things..................

Oh Delilah! I miss you..............My My My

actually there was no sordid! .................but I could make it up if you would prefer!!! answers to be received by next week or you miss your chance!

hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm 04!


to blog or not to blog ......... to reveal the pertinent or just flit from unnecessary waffle to unnecessary waffle ha ha That is the question!!!!

soooooooo do I put down all that happened glossing over the sordid yet dull, emphasinging the wonderful? hmmmmmmmmmmm