a need to reassess

Am sitting at the Mill Pond in Cambridge. It is March the daffodils are out and it is finally warm enough to be outside without a coat! And so I am sitting on the grass sans coat. Waiting for jake and the Deacon to join me and then we can head off for food and company. I think I need company.

Discovered a lump. A golfball sized thing emerged below my ear. It has gone down slightly but I am waiting for tests. Once the tests are done I can then deal with it. Until then its limbo. Put perversely I have been in limbo for about 2 years. Way too long for anything remotely limboish. 

1- long covid remains steadfast 

2- cant sell the house

So now I can add this short little interlude of  limbo waiting for medical tests to reveal my future. But the future is soooo elastic! Might not be too much of it if my worst fears are realised. Or I might have a good 30 more years to toddle this earth. But what that reality might bring is almost as scary as my first possibility. The world has gone .....

 hideous! 

Russia has attacked Ukraine and unlike when we attacked Iran or they attacked the Syrian population this one is creating global tension and discord. Talk of nuclear weapons is more than whispered. Ww3 has become a common hashtag. Somehow this seems bigger. Whilst of course our imperfect PM who has been jolly good friends with putin and his mob in the last 15 years is now trying to position himself to weather the storm and suffer the least possible damage to his very dodgy position. 

The Labour party's  incompetent leader is rather remarkably given the pms failures is going down in the polls. The green party are trying to say this is a good thing as we can stop using fossil fuels although no-one is listening to them! And all the while the Corona virus pandemic trundles along infecting people and just not going away as all of us now want. 

And so my limbo of lump/long covid/unsaleable house mixes in with a general global melee of war and destruction. Fun for us all hey!