i have been reading derrida this morning and I feel like I am running through an early morning woodland trying to grasp the mist that floats freely around me.... I can see it, I can feel it but cant quite get it!!!!

also remembered my 15 year old self sitting in The Mermaid listening to the conversation of the worldly, wordy Irish Trinity College undergraduates (oh they were so grown up!!)... I was determined to discover for myself the meanings of their words and spent the summer fetching such books from the library as Herman Hesse's Glass bead Game and Steppenwolf, Sartre's Nausea and Roads to Freedom and reading reading reading... by the time I had some idea of what it was about and a casual familiarity with the text the summer was over and the students back to their studies... so yesterday there I was in the post-grad coffee room, oh yes a very exclusive little area... and I was sitting listening to conversation about derrida, about post-post structuralism and what have I done...? yes indeed..... rushed off to the library to re-discover these ideas these words... today I have a 'critical theory cluster to attend... I have read the text, re-read the text and I have referred to text describing the text and do I get it???.... ha no it's like grasping mist