Just seen on the Scissor Sisters site that they are doing Glastonbury!!

just did it again.. well I'm in a very different mood today....

Utinam barbari spatium proprium tuum invadant!

Now that's more like it, definitely reflects today's mood entirely!

The little description reads......."May barbarians invade your personal space!" You are highly confrontational and possibly in a bad mood. You would have sworn in this quiz, if I had made it an option.

Can't resist....and I should know better as last year I discovered that I was Martin Heidegger (see posting for 28/11/03) which was totally unsettling... now I have just discovered my own personal Latin phrase which is.....



Magister Mundi sum!
"I am the Master of the Universe!"
You are full of yourself, but you're so cool you
probably deserve to be. Rock on.


Which Weird Latin Phrase Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Sometimes the walk to work from Shoreditch is blatantly odd... the other morning, maybe about two weeks ago while I was happily walking through Bunhills I noticed a group of what I supposed to be students lingering around John Bunyan's Tomb, just as I walked past they started singing, not just mumbly, head down pretend I'm not here singing but full voiced singing, there were harmonies and delightful voices in that throng or should I say choir!! The song... was the hymn with the line 'to be a pilgrim' in it which I guess had rather a lot to do with Bunyan as his famous work was 'Pilgrims Progress'.... anyone know if it was an anniversary or something????

Then last week I was walking in the Shoreditch direction and a man walked past in the opposite direction, he looked fine but his shirt was totally covered in blood, yet he didn't seem bothered by this at all. I carried on walking and around the corner met the sight of a man with a completely battered face, it was horrible, bloody and very very messy, trouble was he was laughing and joking and having a fag!! Then I spotted in the distance a very large truck and film crew .... so didn't have to practice any first aid!

Last night, again on my way home a very polite young man asked me to stop as a fire engine was just about to pull out of a building???? It did, swerving out of a very tight space and sped off, lights flashing..... but oddly quiet... the siren was not on??? Then once again I spotted a camera, I guess the sound will be added at a later date..... there is an air of unreality about these streets....

Sunday got up early, the sun was shining and I felt bouncy! Managed to walk to the tube without crying( see earlier posting!)!! Headed off to Oxford again!!!! Had a lovely, lovely day in the sunshine !!! Lovely lunch in a lovely country pub called The Fox, in the lovely Boar's Hill, and then spent a lovely afternoon deep in conversation whilst lounging in a meadow surrounded by trees, birdsong and blue sky! Lovely! Later hobbled home from the tube with a smile on my face!

Had a good weekend too! Friday night had drinks with Mark and Tara and some of their friends... very pleasant indeed.. only trouble was i had worn an old and very much loved favourite pair of sandals...... by The Art Company and they are gorgeous! But but but!! crippling! and these are flat and very wide sensible shoes!!! Tara and I walked from Bishopsgate to St Pauls, not far normally but in these sandals it seemed like miles of pure agony! ended up walking home barefoot ! Sooo many blisters it was stupid! and Saturday was painful! Went nowhere and walked very little!! and I so loved the sandals and never had any problem before, have my feet expanded over this winter??????????? how to lose weight on the feet??? any particular diets that take inches off the foot???

Gmail! Not too woried about the privacy aspect of the new google mail system, well after all I do write a blog about me that is publicly available! so I signed up for it a few days ago mainly because I have to use online email as my computer was left in Cambridge.

Recently I have tried out:

hotmail - too much spam,
ntl - spam and a time-out factor which is really irritating if you are writing a long email as a little message comes up when you click on SEND to say 'you have timed out of this session'!! and your long email has disappeared into internet ether never to be seen again!
Tiscali - time out factor!

So I thought I'd give Gmail a go... nearly gave up in the first few minutes as the contacts list was extremely clumsy... it wouldn't save changes or new input... but persevered and am really liking it! The inbox is much more than an inbox as it saves all sent and received mail that share the subject heading, this is really convenient and so far no spam (though it is early days) and it doesn't time out... so I can leave it open all day and even the contacts list seems to have lost it's initial annoying glitches! Gets my vote so far! Think that this is also my first 'techie' posting!!!! arrrhhhh! am I becoming geek-like!?!

Saw an article of clothing last night that made me laugh!! Walking down Brick Lane and past a clothing shop there was the ubiquitous Che Guevara image but this time it wasn't on a t-shirt nor even splattered all over a dress, and dresses are sooooo in this season!! No Che's face was on a............... Baby's bib!! It was pink and very very cute!! a real must have for all Guardian reading new parents!!! Just imaging them sitting with appropriate cute child in organic-non-smoking pub and child wears baby ug boots and che bib!! a total image!!!

Pinkbells!!! Has anyone ever seen pinkbells before????.... I'm talking flowers here!! I mean Endymion's which are normally and obviously (!) blue but in Bunhills cemetery there are a few pink ones!! I know this is the time of the Barbie Generation but are even the flowers changing??? Maybe it is something to do with the composition of the soil?? Well it has been a burial ground since Anglo-Saxon times so I imagine there's lots of calcium!!!! Could that have an effect on the colour much the same as hydrangea's or is it rhododendrons??? and have I spelt those anywhere near correctly???

so the spitting continues!! and I still am amazed that it goes on and nobody else seems to notice!? maybe I am becoming 'disgruntled from Rotherhithe' but have you ever thought what the pavements would look like if there were no smokers, gum chewers and spitters!!! and that's not mentioning the litter!!

Read Lovely Bones this week.........! My god not a book to start reading on the tube........ I had to struggle to fight back the tears!! a struggle I lost.... fascinating book because of its perspective, that of the murdered girl... and whereas it looks at the story of a murder and looks like it could be a tale of the murder hunt in reality it is a fascinating exploration of the living... how different people deal with death and grief.... a good book!

Had a long weekend and am much calmer and more philosophical!! Last week's rant is now out of my system and I can be a rational being again, well as rational as I ever will be!!! P can get on with it. If he feels the need to steal my blog's name there's little I can do about it and well -imitation is a form of flattery is it not and after all what is in a name???

Onwards and upwards......... the weekend was decidedly split into two.. first half very home centred, seriously considering a move back to Cambridge as I am in need of a 'home' a real home, somewhere I can sand the floorboards if I feel the desire or put up loads of pictures..... just somewhere where I can be me........ and be surrounded by my stuff.. so have broached the subject with J & J and suggested that maybe they start thinking about what they want to do.....

Sunday went out to the marina and spent time with Tara on her boat, now this was another possibility for providing a home as Tara is selling her boat .... but but but it is the size of a small caravan though more appealing!!... having spent last year considering and looking forward to moving into a 70ft boat with high ceilings and vast possiblities.. it just seemed a tad small ! So I think that idea is shelved, though of course it does have moorings!!! and actually would be great for spending weekends on in the summer months....

Tara, Mark and I then headed off to HMS President, which is moored near Blackfriars Bridge on the north bank... now that is a sizable boat, or ship as the Captain kept reminding me later!!! Definitely a nautical theme to this posting!! Fabian was playing in a band with Pete, George Breakfast and two girl singers..... but what was eminently much more watchable was the audience... this event was an opening for an art exhibition being held on the boat and two of the artists were Russian and so most of the gathered crowd were Russians.... they certainly know how to party!! and dance and ummmm take over the microphone!!! A very funny but odd evening indeed...

Horace might be doing the Glastonbury thing again so will probably get tickets after all! And Pete and George B will be at the CFF, in the Club tent so that should be good too!

Monday morning was another day off, which is utterly lovely... so I got up rather hastily and full of a stonking hangover headed off for a date in Oxford..... and this time the conversation flowed, gushed and burbled its way over a day filled with laughter, sunshine and fresh green countryside and a lovely discovery of commanalities! I met a man! and now I have the answer to the question about when should a new chap read your blog.. it's dead simple, if he is an intelligent non-judgemental lovely human being then he can read it whenever, as it just doesn't matter!

Blogs and relationships.......!! I have mentioned this before but I think it needs more exploration... The other Sunday I was on a udate date....... sort of unexciting and fairly mundane, and as he was pretty geeky the conversation turned towards computers. I mentioned having a blog, but when he asked for its name I couldn't face telling him, well it's a bit like saying here's my diary this is all about me, but not getting any reciprocal feedback. I still know nothing about him and he knows, or assumes he knows, a hell of a lot about me!! So when do you let them see it??? A bit like the old 'when to shag' question.... Recently in the very sweet early stages of a relationship, that admittedly didn't get any further than the very sweet early stages! Alan suddenly declared that he would no longer read my blog as he didn't want to read that he'd been dumped before it actually happened!! Hmmmmmmmm ha! Maybe that was a significant move Alan!!!

Sooooooo ............ I spent last summer in a relationship with Pete that was really quite controlling and manipulative, but what was particularly bad was his non-recognition of me, as a separate individual, he diminished me, denied my sense of self really and as I had put myself in a very vunerable position, ie moved in with him without any of my belongings, I struggled with what was actually happening. I could not believe I had made such a mistake, and so really tried to make it work and to ignore some of his not so wonderful facets of character.... like his racism......back to the blog aspect here, I did describe the ending of this relationship in this blog as 'a limp dwindling away' and he later told me that this upset him, somehow that changed how I felt about writing this as I didn't want to hurt him or anybody I know and care about, and so I have avoided emotional outpourings and mainly described the superficial stuff that is going on but....

I saw Pete recently as he called to say hello and he told me he had set up a blog of his own.... ok fair enough I thought, it's another way of him trying to communicate with me.. I don't have to read it.... but, of course, I have.........Its name is sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo unbelievable!! He has actually called it Pete's Palaver!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and this makes me sooooooooooooo mad........... it's a further diminishing, a further way of control and taking away something that is mine and what makes it even worse is it is really really really shit!!!!! and by copying my name he takes away some of my individuality again!!!! and he can't write, he can't spell, and he even writes racist stuff!! and it is really CRAP! The man has no sense of empathy whatsoever.... He writes of Lizzie, his daughter, in such a matter of fact way that it blends in with what he is saying about the boat...!! Has he no soul???

So, to conclude, blogs and relationships are a minefield... but from now on no holds barred....... I will write what I feel and if it feels pertinent to write about it I will write about it...........

Cambridge Folk Festival line up announced..... Beth Orton, Divine Comedy, Jimmy Cliff, Loundan Wainwright, Acoustic Levellers and of course Horace X... looks pretty good

I have become dull!!! Saturday night was fucking fantastic!!!! Jake's body and no we are not talking my son here at all!!! was utterly gorgeous... I could gush at this point, I am going to join a fan club!!!! Bloke next to (and behind me) ((well at the front of a gig people's geographical position changes rapidly)) had a set of sparkly rabbit ear headbandy things, and a very good body too but that's beside the point... anyway in a moment of sheer exuberance he threw said ears on to the stage... all around gasped as Jake, the lead singer, at first trod on them then picked them up and wore them, more gasps and bloke with body sighed......... 'he's wearing my ears!!!!!!!!!!!!!' luscious moment!!! and I am now attempting a new record... to be seem bouncing away at the front of gigs... can imagine being in the background of various photo's and one day someone saying.. 'well just who is that old dear that boounces like a 17 year old but needs a zimmerframe at the end of the gig' and my moment of fame will be there.... that is all I desire.......... a moment of fame

The Scissor Sisters were awesome!!!! Such a pity Neela and Michael couldn't make it, Sarah invited two of her friends along but I had to abandon them as they had decided to go upstairs.... and the sound up there was really terrible, actually there were real problems with the sound and for a while Ana and Jake had to talk whilst improvements were being made but for the latter part of the show it was fine..... I went downstairs and weasled my way to the front, which is much easier to do on your own so had a fine view of the band....... bounced away and thoroughly enjoyed myself indeed!!!! Will certainly try to get to see them again soon!!

Double booked tonight but trying to squeeze both in....... Hannah's leaving do at The Vibe bar and then Sarah's birthday party... Tomorrow a gig and Sunday a day of rest! Looks like a good weekend ahead!

Didn't get a Glasto ticket after all........ but still have other plans for that weekend so all is not lost

Speaking of lost stuff...... any emails to my ntlworld address using my full name have been totally lost .... if you want to stay in touch please use the email link that's on this page... be good to hear from you

Will be getting Cambridge Folk Festival tickets this year so maybe meet up with the girls again then?????

more about the cemetery.. It is Bunhill's Cemetery and is a place for dissidents!!! It is actually unconsecrated ground!! Explains why there is no church next to it! and has been used as a burial place since Saxon times.... ideal resting spot. I wonder if they have any spaces.......?? well I would certainly hate to be amongst believers so burial is out for me and I had imagined cremation as the only option... now another possiblity!! Not that I am planning anything though!!! Of course!!! but well just in case... it's a thought.....

Spring has arrived although I am in a complete fug at the moment... Exacerbated by trying to sort out a mortgage with no spare money and being hounded on all sides by people/companies demanding money... it's all getting a bit much and I'm not good at dealing with bureaucracy (can't even spell it) at the best of times....

had a lovely phone call from old friend in Australia, James, and that has left me with a smile or three!! I have known him for a number of years now and have always been impressed by his eco terrorism but he's is much more mainstream now and working for the Green Party. Good on yer James!!!!! !!! maybe one day .... a visit???? mmmmmmmmmmmm

anyway reason for posting!! have been having a pleasant walk in to work from Shoreditch recently, having realised that the East London line is my favourite tube line. Always get a seat and there is always one within a few minutes of waiting! Sooo my walk has included a cemetery just off City Road which is a little oasis of calm and there are already grape Hyacinths and daisies galore! Squirrels are all over it too and it has been a nice couple of minutes of fresh air! Today I noticed a gravestone standing somewhat apart from others..... on it it says something like........ 'WILLIAM BLAKE'S remains lie nearby'!! and next to him there's a pointy columny thing naming Daniel Defoe's resting place and then in the background John Bunyan's tomb!!! Was quite surprised I had missed all this. makes me wonder what else I am unaware of when just walking past