So much has happened in the last three weeks really that it is difficult to accept any of it as reality. Last night I cooked a meal for my two sons, nothing unusual in that but everything has changed... Josh is now living in Cambridge with Hayley a very pleasant girl who I met for the first time last night.... I realise that this might not seem at all unusual .. parents meet their children's boyfriends/girlfriends all the time.. but I have never met any of Josh's ever!! Last night was the first time he brought someone home and he is 22 next month!! Weird, does this say something about how crap we are at relationships in this family I wonder??? hmmmm

You know how we can trudge on in life with an image of self, an idea of the sort of person we are and then something happens and it just makes you aware of how others see you?? Maybe that's what happened last night and is happening with the new relationship I am in with Pete... I am becoming aware of my incessant self absorption! This blog is a fine example of it indeed! I have become aware that I want to tell my story first, that I reply to text messages with stuff about what I am doing rather than with questions about 'the other'... that I dont even really listen to others stories about their lives. I must work on this as I really truely thought I was quite a caring person, that I was anything other than selfish but ummmmm no I am embarrassed to say I am as self absorbed as I accused Fabian of being. At least he was aware of his failings!! So! onwards in a self improving way .. how are you today?? I would love to hear from you about your stories/ adventures/ dreams /desires/ or even of the mundane stuff of life, the little details.......