It's the Winter Solstice today, the shortest day of the year and an ancient and almost global celebration... so I will light a candle to ensure that the sun rises tomorrow....

lots of love to all


Delilah xx

SOME DEATHS TAKE FOREVER

Recently R4 has had a poll to find the women's watershed book... which was a quest for a book that really changed lives and I was pleased to see my first choice 'The Women's Room' by Marilyn French came in second (above line is a memorable quote) which means that others also recognise the momentous affect this book could actually have on readers lives... at the time it confirmed for me many many doubts I had about marriage and relationships and was maybe a bit of a catalyst at the end of my own marriage... so I was glad to see it there high on the list... reason for mentioning this list though is the odd choice for number one, the winner was Pride and Prejudice... yes a good book, an excellent read but surely not a life-changing read??? I can't imagine for a moment that one person after reading Elizabeth's Bennett's witty capture of a suitable husband would change their life in any way whatsoever??? Odd really...

so it's getting near Xmas, found myself inexplicably pondering the purchase of stuff... ???

really don't have enough time to do this posting justice. saturday was brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! daytime was spent standing, bouncing in the middle of a zebra crossing opposite Camden Market forcing people to hoot their car horns, waving and calling out, handing leaflets into moving vehicles whilst wearing tiger ears...



then a quick change into a father christmas costume and accompanied by a 6 foot australian wearing pixie ears handing out lollipops with the lovely slogan .........'Esso Sucks' ... then to the pub to drink too many beers in excellent company....... then off to Kentish Town Forum to meet S and R and see Graham Coxon...... now I might be biased as I think Graham is an excellent guitarist/performer but this gig was even better than any of his I've seen!!! Got right to the front with barely room to jiggle/breathe, bounced as much as possible, watched a couple of people faint, got kicked by crowd surfers, ended up looking like I'd been in the shower fully dressed, my face turned as pink as a beetroot..... and I loved every moment!! Graham was brilliant and he even brought a friend on stage to sing.... the friend was Pete Doherty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! who did a wonderful version of a Libertines favourite Time for Heroes!!!!!!!!!!

an excellent day indeed

had an odd weekend... went to London on a spur of the moment thing.... met a rather predatory poet... was telling Josh about it and he thought I was talking about a sort of poetry genre that he'd never heard of... you know rather like 'The Liverpool Poets' but in this case 'The Predatory Poets'... this got me pondering.... predatory poetry would involve stealing a line or two from some other poem and inserting it into the 'new' poem... so I had a go....



The Predatory Poet


He sat engulfed with lust
Or was it boredom perhaps?
That spurred him to battle and to hopeful conquest.
She was unsuspecting but wanting too, in behest
Of an undefined something,
Company perhaps?
She had a vague hunger arising
but was not sure where to focus.
Her need was soon engulfed by flattery
Consumed by the interest; a stupid moth in search of light.
Tyger, tyger burning bright, in the forest of the night.
He saw the need, and intense and proud
Felt he was the one to satisfy,
Regardless of others,
Whose desires he ignored.
Overtaken, but enthralled, she responded with cries
In what distant deeps or skies burnt the fire of thine eyes?
But others needs came to the fore
He backed away angry, unsure
She realised then her complete mistake.
A fool; a moth with wings burnt dark
She turned away and looked elsewhere.
Intent on meeting again he quenched his desire.
On what wings dare he aspire? What, the hand, dare seize the fire?
She left, not looking back
Spurned his attempts to speak once more
It had become of no consequence,
Extinguished, cold and black




ok so maybe not the best poem in the world but is it the first predatory poem ??

and the Scissor sisters gig was marvellous!!!!!!! wasn't invisible there... bounced around and even pulled, trouble was I hadn't realised I'd pulled as it was a woman! Thought she was just being friendly but Jake assures me she was 'more' than friendly!!! anyway we bounced to Take your mama, sang loudly to all songs, watched Jake in all his costume changes and loved Ana's running commentary... oh god it was good............!


Graham in a couple of weeks

have been researching my powers of invisibility recently... at the moment my art is quite unreliable and at times very unpredictable but it is increasing! Oddly in London it never happened but here in Cambridge odd events are occurring with more regularity... of course I have always had the knack of being invisible when standing at a crowded bar....but now it is happening in unexpected places....it is an art that can be perfected I am sure... maybe with another few years I might be really competant and be invisible to all but my closest family but as it is at the moment it seems that it's only complete strangers that do not see me... to test my skills I find that walking in the centre of town is an ideal setting. Whilst walking or even striding purposefully along something must happen to my molecules and I just simply disappear.... I become insignificant, unnoticeable... irrelevent even... people can keep walking towards me and continue as if I wasn't there... strangely though I dyed my hair, removed the grey and became visible again.... ??

discovered this in my wanderings... simple and quite quite beatiful!

ah ha but tonight is not just a rally!!! Tonight I have a gig to go to too!!!!

Actually got out of the habit of saying in advance where I was going , mainly because of Pete, when we were splitting up. The thought of him reading the blog and then turning to 'surprise' me just made me wary, but now I realise it just doesn't matter.... being single does have some advantages!!!


So tonight!

Tonight is the Scissor Sisters last gig of the tour and we are going!!!!!!!!!!!

Sarah got the tickets ages ago and as the man said there were only three tickets left she bought the last three!!!!!!!!! Which means Jake gets to go too!!!!!!!!!!!!! Loads of exclamation marks are required, glitter is required, cheap champagne is required!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

well the sun is shining amazingly, the world has survived another day but will it survive 4 more years???????????

feeling saddened... saddened that that massive turnout of voters were actually voting for Bush! That they queued for hours to vote for him is scary, that they crept out in their droves to ensure he had the highest number of votes of any American President ever.. it is beyond me..... completely beyond me

so I am going on a march tonight.... to register my dismay ..... to act rather than hide away for the next few years..... I feel a need...........

Glum

Splendid splendid day on Saturday!!!!

Met up with Sarah at KIng's Cross... big squeals to see her again and although it's only been two months there was a massive amount of catching up to do! We headed to the Tate Modern....hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm the foyer was fairly busy but I struggle with audio art!!! there's well um nothing to look at !? We were heading down the stairs to go give it all a listen when we bumped into little Nick... don't bump into people I know in Cambridge so found it quite delightful to do it in the Tate....soooooo the ummmmmmmmmmm listening art stuff.... well I just didn't get it... bursts of words coming at you, having to huddle in a group to listen to someone repeat the same sentence over and over again????? ........ the members bar beckoned... in fact it was silently screaming an invite at us... which we subliminally heard and responded to !!! Sat for the afternoon on a sofa, with bottle of wine in our immediate focus and St Pauls in the distance a mere stone's throw across the river...an excellent spot to exchange news!

Then headed to La Cave my favourite French restaurant in Borough Market... more wine was consumed and the discourse bubbled along! Headed for Brixton and Franz Ferdinand a happy wobbly woman!! Franz were excellent, very very bouncy very very.....! and I was the annoying woman with backpack bouncing away... in fact a very sweet chappie stood nearby and zipped up my back pack each time it came undone! very very sweet ( and utterly honest!!!!!)

so the day ended really well... wobbled back to Cambridge a very happy woman...

and another thing....!

read 'Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell' last week... an absorbing read indeed... a bit of escapism in some ways as it wasn't deep... nor actually enjoyable... but it was absorbing.... the footnotes were excellent... a whole other world/other book lay tucked within the bottom of the pages.. but it lacked a fuller exploration of relationships between the characters and the female characters were sadly lacking being rather cardboard cutouts... it barely touched the surface ... although it was 'a good read' in many ways... the historical aspect was fully explored.... in fact the Wellington/Napolean/Georgian perspective and the world of magic were completely intertwined in a very satisfying way but I can see why it didn't make the Booker short list.... regardless of it's massive length it just had no depth

so much to say and just not enough time!!

have now taken my brother's bike to have it's brakes fixed and am experiencing urban cycling Cambridge style .. don't think I have ever needed to cycle regularly through the centre at rush hour before now and I find I look back at cycling in London with fond memories!! There is a cameraderie about cycling in London, even, dare I suggest it a certain friendliness between cyclists that is entirely absent here! Cambridge cyclists have no sense of 'us and them'... it is a manic free for all! with nobody actually considering the possibility of other road users... cyclists of all ages, shapes and speeds ride in a manner so blinkered it is positively dangerous... the use of brakes or bells is entirely absent unless it is the inexplicable breaking that occurs at random in a straight stretch of road where one should be able to zoom along... veering out from a side street is undertaken without a care in the world ... I have taken to wearing a helmet!!

still no computer at home and a very busy time in the new job so posts have become infrequent to say the least.. I apologise! Will try to do better!

flat is looking a bit nicer... cleaner clearer and generally getting there!

new job is ok for the moment... I know I will hit boredom levels at some point but hopefully not just yet.. and the setting is pleasant plus I get to see all new posts before they are advertised... it might help!

Last thursday I wandered along to The Cow, well it is just round the corner, to have a drink with Jake... sadly the G& T doubles are cheaper than singles...and they go down so quickly! then we tried a couple of cocktails.... then sensibly decided to go in search of food... happened upon Chez Gerard along Bridge Street... have been in there for meals with the women's group.... it is pleasant enough and as they are a bit of a steak and chips place thought Jake would like it too....The waiter was utterly attentive, we wondered if it was because Steven Hawkin was having a meal there and all the staff were on best behaviour!! I had the salmon which was pleasant enough but now I was on the wine and perhaps being a little loud??? Found it fascinating to watch the antics of SH's nurse who was trying to eat, feed her charge and have a conversation with fellow guest... I, meantime, was explaining to Jake why I thought 'A brief history in Time' was particularly crap... as all its conclusions were based on the premise that all acts and events happen in a way that is explained by reason, that there is no place for the irrational... anyway... we enjoyed ourselves and the waiter seemed very happy.... SH left before us and as he was going past our table he stopped his wheelchair and stared... a very odd sensation being eyeballed (can only describe it as being eyeballed as he really couldn't move much else!!) by such a globally famous person.. I just sort of giggled a hello and he just dribbled.....

after he left the waiter, who had become quite excited by this point, came over.. we thought it was the excitement of having SH in his restaurant but... he bounced over and said... 'I just have to ask... you are Darren from Hollyoaks aren't you?' to Jake... turns out he was more excited by the prospect of serving a soap star than an internationally reknown physicist... I tried to tell him that no, Jake was not Darren, but was in fact Noah from Home and Away but I was laughing too much!

A very pleasant evening!

In the library again, and this time in my lunch hour!! so this will be necessarily brief...

Starting to enjoy Cambridge again... wandering to work is nice as I'm working in the historical centre which is loaded with attractive buildings, sculture and very nice shops... last night went to the arts cinema to see Dead Man's Shoes and excellent British film ...very very British, very dark and disturbing... there was a question and answer session at the end with the director which is always interesting to listen to mostly about the film's background and raison d'etre.... so had wine with old buddy Lisa .... excellent to catch up indeed.... though quite looking forward to actually being at home tonight! A night in !

Work is actually interesting too... all very acronym full... and so jargonistic I feel I am sitting in on a foreign language class at times!!!! Have been given my old user name from when I was a student here and when they finally get my log-in up and running I wonder if I'll have some ancient emails sitting waiting for me to read.. bit odd really being on the other side of the place !!! Trying to look a bit smarter at work but not really succeeding....

Saturday's Greenpeace action was good fun.... but must learn to do the whole moderation thing as far as wine intake goes.. particularly now I have to get a late train back to Cambridge!!! and it would help the memory too as it all got a bit blurred around the edges....

Cambridge! Well it's quiet, the sun has been shining beautifully, tempting me to get outside, sit along the river and drink a bit of rose whilst turning a matching pink! But I have resisted, mostly, and have been trying to make the flat vaguely habitable again... slow and very grubby work indeed! Quite remarkable how complete the deterioration has been! and I am at times doubtful that I can make it a 'home' again... Had a new front door put in yesterday which has been a vast improvement.. feel secure and as if I am making a difference.. plus I can now face cooking in the kitchen again as I have spent two solid days cleaning it!!

had an odd night Tuesday when I met J& J to watch the football... played pool afterwards and then somehow found myself having a coggy back to Max's mansion... dead odd! J (i) and i scuttled away fairly soon after having a viewing of the stuffed wild boar's head and being introduced to M's mother! Trouble is once I've had a couple of beers I am 17 again... and totally forget that a woman in her mid-forties generally doesn't ride on the back of a bicycle being peddled by a 20 year old.. then sneak into friend's house after his parents have supposedly gone to bed, only for a parent to get up to greet son and friends...God knows what she thought!

Reading Festival aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah! Yes!

Only had a day ticket so was there for the Saturday only, at first I was really happy about this as stories of dire amounts of mud were all over the news pages before we went. But by the end of the evening I sooooo wished I had a tent there and with it the possibility of seeing Graham Coxon, Green Day, Offspring.......

Anyway the line up for Saturday looked pretty good! Arrived as Razorlight came on.... having never been to Reading before I was utterly taken aback by it's size. Somehow I had expected something BIG and yet it was really just one main arena with a couple of other stages..... in fact there was tons of stuff going on outside the arena....which is really unusual for festivals as generally only ticket holders get to join in the fun!! Here you could actually put up a tent, do your festival shopping, join in with the air guitar competition and hear all the main acts for nothing!

Hmm Razorlight were utterly spoiled by their prat of a lead singer.. the music wasn't too bad but Johnny Borell was very full of himself and played the part of the ultimate rock star......... climbing down from the stage to touch his audience was an act too far for the first band of the day!!!!!! Then came The New York Dolls!!!!! Lead singer looked like a Mick Jagger/Lou Reed mix.. a combination that reflects a life of hard drugs, vast quantities of alcohol and maybe a bit of rock and roll thrown in! They did a version of Don't go breaking my heart' which had everyone joining in, well the few people who were at the front of the stage anyway... maybe most had gone off to do their shopping at this point!?! Sad as they missed a really good band... Franz Ferdinand did a good set.. although Sarah and I realised that they were actually a cloned band with all the members being fairly indistinguishable... The Libertines tried really hard without Pete Doherty but didn't get there for me, the vocals just didn't have any errrr umph! Carl Barratt looked cute but lacked a bit!

By this time Sarah and I had supped some ale, danced, sung, and talked to a pile of brand new friends... and the White Stripes came on. I was slightly distracted.. The W S's were good but we had to hike it for the last train... sadly leaving a whole pile of good music, good people and excellent quality mud behind

I might be being a little premature with this one but I love the design!!! and I want one!! It's an ecopod and looks gorgeous, cute and even a little funky.. trouble is it is a coffin! so hopefully I wont be occupying one for a while... but its ideal...made of paper and lined with feathers!!! and suitable for a woodland burial... now just have to find the suitable woodland

Monday and it's raining, really feels like the end of summer today... and it's cold! Very different from the weekend...

Had a Greenpeace 'workshop' on Saturday to go to ... met more lovely intelligent committed people... interesting conversation with someone who makes documentaries (Channel 4 9.00 Wednesday) and was at Cambridge, someone else was a 'home and away' addict and that was hilarious... haven't had a H& A conversation for ages!!!! (Alf Stewart is still my man!!!!) Anyway, the course was, for me, more about confidence building than anything else.. I have never been good at pushing my ideas and beliefs on people... well unless I have had too much to drink and they are close friends.... !! .... tend to think that all are entitled to their own opinion and why should they be remotely interested in what I have to say.... so this was good for me... as talking to people on the street is a very different skill to a class on map skills! So it was good.. I learned that it's more to do with Greenpeace core values and remaining calm..

The evening was interesting! I managed to be late! Well I'd had a few beers in Islington and then the Northern line was seriously delayed, not a good combination! Managed to get the food done with the excellent help of R and then The Esperanza people started arriving... food was eaten which is always a relief when you do the cooking!!.... good company!!! Looking forward to the next one in a month's time! Even enjoyed sunday, getting the place habitable again and relaxing with a newspaper and a content smile on my face............

Reading an interesting book about time ... Pip Pip by Jay Griffiths... hmmm it's written in the style of feminist polemic that I haven't touched for a few years.. that sort of playing with words and themes and vast repetitions that can get a little tiresome... such as

"Modernity's definitions of time, time accountancy, the digital clock with its flip blip for the flitting split second - the same split second- is a thing of no moment. When it comes to defining time, only the oceanic need apply. Time is simply too exquisite to be entrusted to anyone else. Only the oceanic, the Montaignes or Joyces, Shakespeares or Rousseaus, Eastern Philosophers or children. They know their now, they know the really wild vibe of the present is this; now is the only time when the moment can meet the eternal - and they know that the moment is momentous. "

a bit wordy indeed but getting further into the book I find I am re-thinking time and recognising that it is an ideological concept.. this whole linear thing.. I can remember as a child of about 8 deciding that the calender should be drawn as a spiral rather than as a linear progression as for me it all seemd vastly more cyclical...